Page 145 of The Devil We Crave
Ari turns as red as I am. “Imeant…” she sighs. “I didn’t mean the having sex part. I mean…” She lifts a shoulder. “Well, okay, yes. But specifically…I mean…”
I roll my eyes. “Spit it out.”
“The bruises? And the scratch marks?” She swallows nervously. “I mean, I’m not an idiot. I know you’re not being, like, abused. I understand what rough sex is…mostly.” She takes a deep breath, still chewing on her lip. “But do you…like it?”
Wren giggles and turns to arch a brow at me. “I wouldalsolike to know this.”
My face throbs. “I…yes?” I croak. “I mean, I wouldn’t be doing it if I didn’t?”
“But those bruises…” Ari’s brows arch to the ceiling. “I mean,damn.”
I look away, heat humming over my skin. “I mean… It’s not being hurt that I like, it’s more…” I groan. “Okay, this is embarrassing.”
“Cone of silence,” Wren says breathlessly. “Total cone of silence.”
I exhale heavily. “Okay. It’s not that I like gettinghurt. I just…”
God, how do I even explain this?
“It’s…a control thing,” I say quietly, looking at my hands twisting in my lap. “And…a power thing. It’s not masochism—” I pause for a second. “Okay, it might besomemasochism. I don’tnotlike getting hurt, but I don't want to get punched in the face or anything. It’s more that I like giving him total control over me. Giving up all agency, and being…you know…” I swallow heavily. “His,in the physical sense. For him to do whatever he wants.” My chest tightens. “I really likethat. Does that make sense?”
They’re both silent as I keep staring at my twisting fingers.
“Or does it make me sound as insane as I think it does?” I say quietly.
“Not at all,” Wren breathes. I lift my eyes and blink when I see the way they’re both looking at me.
It’s not “Wow, you arewaymore fucked up than we thought”.
It’s more like they're intrigued.
“That doesn’t sound insane,” Ari says thoughtfully, chewing on her lip. “I mean it sounds scary…but I get it.”
Wren blows air through her lips. “Sounds hot asfuck, actually.”
I grin.
“What sounds hot as fuck?”
We all startle, looking up quickly as Lucia walks into the room.
“Just one of Galina’s books,” Wren says with disturbing ease.
Lucia grins as she drops onto the couch Ari is on, across from Wren and me. “Heard. I’ve given up trying to fight it. I’m a MaskTok slut now.” She waggles her brows. “PS, have you guys been following the Velvet Villainess drama?”
Ari’s brow furrows. “Uh, no?”
“She has a co-conspirator now.”
I frown. “What??”
“Facts,” Lucia grins. “She was live-streaming the other day—oh, and she’stotallya Knightsblood student, because she was one-hundred percent filming in Ravencroft again.” She clears her throat. “Anyway, she was live-streaming, and all of a sudden, this muscled, tattooed guy’s arm with a black glove on his hand shot into the side of the frame and grabbed her by the throat. She acted all freaked out and then the stream cut off. Girl knows how to market. I mean,damn.”
I arch a brow. “Huh.”
“You really think she’s a Knightsblood student?” Wren frowns.
“Definitely,” Lucia nods. She glances around the group. “Hey, where’s Galina?”
