Page 60 of Maverick
And Van.
Both were gone, and I didn’t have any way to leave the compound to ride it out, to search for them.
“What did you find out on your little fact finding mission, Shadow?”
“All seems calm for now, but there’s something brewing. I know it, you know it.”
“Heard from Mannix?”
“I’m not the port of call for him,” Shadow explained. “Want me to reach out? See if she’s with him?”
“Of course she is,” I bit back. “Where else would she be?”
“I can track her, Mav. Tell me to, and I will.”
I tossed back the last of my drink and shrugged it off. “Nah, she chose this. She doesn’t want to be here, fuck her.”
Moving off my stool, I left the empty bottle on the bar and headed down the hall to the room I crashed in when I was here. I could still smell her shampoo on my pillows, still remember Van sleeping on the bed, on my side, almost like he knew it was mine and it was safe.
Fuck.
I slammed my door shut and crumpled behind it, my knees unable to take my drunken weight anymore and landed on my ass. I hit the back of my head against the door a few times, trying to shake the last remnants of what it felt like to have her in bed, in my room.
Safe.
Prez wouldn’t let me leave, wouldn’t let me look for her.“She made the choice to leave, we can’t do anything about it”.
We could. I could tell him she was mine. My ol’ lady, and then the gates of Hell would open and we’d ride out to track her down.
Something had stopped me.
Perhaps it was because I hadn’t told him the full truth, I hadn’t told him who she was. I still didn’t know why. I wanted to. I wanted to tell him how dangerous it was for her out there, alone, unprotected. Everything inside of me was screaming to go and find her, drag her back, put Van into the cabin with Mari and to lay claim to my woman, over and over again until she believed she was mine.
But that’s what he’d done.
He’d done that to her, taken her against her will, scared her, threatened her.
I couldn’t do that. I wanted her to choose me.
That’s what it came down to and now, I knew she hadn’t.
Tavi
My body shook, a natural reaction to being hosed down with a high pressure, cold water hose, while naked. I refused to let him break me though. I hadn’t made a protest, or a sound of despair since I willingly walked back into the mansion to my abuser.
He was mad when I was without Van, as I suspected, but he sobered quickly.“That’s fine, you can hide him, Octavia, but that won’t stop me from using that body again to give me another heir.”
I recoiled. That had been my second mistake. The first was walking back in without telling anyone where I was going. Van was safe. I knew he was, and if something happened to me, there were measures in place to keep him safe.
“So strong, darling wife,” he sneered, as he circled me like a shark would its prey. “He’s not coming. Why would he? You were nothing but a piece of pussy. That’s what these men do. They use and then they move on when you’re no good to them. Aren’t you lucky I’m willing to take you back?”
I could barely contain the disgust, my bile rising in my throat, burning in my mouth. I wasn’t prepared for the slap to force my head to the side. One side of my cheek burning with pain from the hit. Slowly, I turned my head back, holding back the sob gathering in my chest.
He didn’t deserve my tears.
“Then again…you are used up…maybe I don’t want you now. Maybe you’re not enough for me.”
I never was.
