Page 48 of Sprog
Cash has a glass in front of him, but his attention isn’t completely on the glass. He’s half present and half somewhere operational, his eyes moving around the room in a way that looks casual and isn't. Brick is watching the room with his back to the bar, arms folded, because that's Brick's version of relaxed.
And Austin is watching me.
He's not pretending to do anything else. He's sitting at the bar with his elbows on the counter and his eyes straight across the room at our booth and when my eyes meet his he doesn't look away. He doesn't smile. He just looks at me the way he's been looking at me since he walked into my surgery, like he's making sure I'm real.
I'm aware that Cash clocks the moment and tips his head slightly toward Austin, and I see Austin say something back without breaking eye contact with me. Whatever he said, Cash shrugsand turns back to the room. Brick doesn't move. He already knows.
I look away first.
The booth dips and I think it's Luke back already but it's not Luke. Austin slides in across from me and fills the space like he's always been in it.
"That your man, Sav? Did you move home and bring him with you?"
There's an edge in his voice that I recognize. I never thought I'd have to deal with jealous Austin again. I'm not sure I was prepared for it.
"None of your business." I hold his eyes. Neither of us is going to be the first to look down. "I don't flaunt my personal life the way you do."
"You fucked him?" His jaw goes tight.
"None of your fucking business."
"I thought you didn't swear."
"I told you not to swear in front of your son. Different rule."
Something moves across his face when I say your son. A kind of flinch. "I need to see you, Sav. I need to talk to you. I'm going out of my mind knowing you're here and not being able to talk to you."
"What do you want to talk about, Austin?" I hear my own voice getting louder and I can't stop it. "How you slept with someone else in the bed where we slept? Or how you told me you loved me and then made sure I'd find you with her? Which part do you want to go over?"
I'm aware that people are looking. I don't care.
"That's exactly why we need to talk." He looks lost. It's the most honest his face has been since he walked into my office. "Not here. Come home with me or let me come to yours. I just need you to hear me out."
"Luke is staying at mine."
The darkness moves through his eyes like weather. "He's staying at yours. One bedroom."
"Don't," I say.
"Is he sleeping in your bed?"
I stand up. "I don't owe you an explanation, Austin. I don't owe you anything."
I move toward the end of the booth, but he catches my arm. I fall into his chest and his scent hits me before I can defend myself against it. I hate my own body for every single thing it does in that second.
"Sav. Please."
"Sav, is everything okay?" Luke is back.
I step out of Austin's hold. "Let's go. We can drink at home."
Austin follows us out.I knew he would. I can hear him behind us on the pavement, so I keep walking and don't turn around.
"This isn't over, Sav. Once you hear what I’ve to say, if you decide you never want to see me again, I'll respect that. But you need to hear it."
"Austin, go away."
Luke has stopped walking. I turn and he's looking at Austin the way Luke looks at things he's trying to understand, open and straight and without performance.
