Page 27 of Grumpy Spring Sunshine
I looked at him, looked at the look on his face, at the flashes of his emotions, of his being scared, and I knew his answer before it even came out.
“It’s all it can be, Brittani. Why can’t you see that? Look at you, look at what I’ve done to you. This anger isn’t you.”
“Oh, you can bet your ass it is, when it calls for it. But you know what, Keith? The words came out after sex, not because it was mind-blowing or because you put me in a tailspin, but because it was true. I do love you. But it’s not enough. I will never be enough for you. Because you refuse to let yourself fall in love with anyone.
“Someday, someone is going to knock you upside the head with it, and you’ll find out what I mean. You’ll see how you can’t stop it, and part of you won’t want to, no matter how terrified it makes you.
“I had wished that person was me, but I don’t have the energy to do that with you, nor the time. Because that could take far longer than I’m willing to give you.
“And someday, she’s going to make everything perfect in your life and you won’t want to let her go. You will fight every mountain and every hell she will throw at you to keep her. And then, you’re going to rock her world with some of the best sex.
“But that’s not me. This,” I said, waving my hand between us, “it’s over. It has to be. I can’t risk any more of my heart to you. I refuse to.”
I walked over, my heart in my throat, and kissed his cheek.
“I know you’ll be safe getting back, and I’ll see you around. Hopefully before I leave.”
“Leave? Leave where? Where will you go? Why will you go?”
“There is no way I can stay here and watch you find someone to love, Keith. That would shatter me and the town does not need more grumps in it.”
“So, wait, you’ll just leave? But you love Storyville. You got the whole tattoo of it.”
“And it can be covered up. Or I can find another place to love like I did here. Maybe have the same views or something. It would be better for us both if I did that, I feel.”
I checked my phone.
“I need to go. Caleb will be here any moment.” With a wave, I walked over to my car and climbed in, letting out a breath I didn’t know I needed. That was the hardest thing I had to do.
Would I leave?
I wasn’t sure.
But it was possible.
I really did believe Keith would find someone, and while I hoped it had been me, it wasn’t. Because to prove to me that he wanted something real was going to take a lot more than some dumb sorry.
We’ve already done that and he did the same thing.
Nick waved as he drove away, having picked up my best friend and leaving him at the post office.
I parked my car and climbed out, smiling at him.
He ran over, picking me up in his arms and swung me around.
“I’ve missed you,” I told him, kissing his cheek. “Got an appointment already booked for your tattoo.”
“Who took the gleam out of your eye?”
I didn’t even have a moment to control that. Damnit, he saw far too much.
“It’s there.”
“Bullshit. You look like you’re about to cry. Who the hell did that? It better not be the guy working on my tattoo that you told me about or I’ll beat his ass down myself.”
God, I missed him.
And before I could even think, I had my arms around his waist and my face in his chest, crying over the one good man I wanted and worried I would never get.
