Page 68 of Clueless
“Okay, I pushed back my dinner date,” she said, slipping her phone back into her over-sized purse before setting it down in an armchair in the waiting room.“So, talk.”
She was cold, almost indifferent.But I’d broken her heart, so I couldn’t expect warmth and understanding.
“I’ve missed you.”I knew it was probably stupid to lead with that, but I couldn’t help myself.
She curled her arms around her mid-section, protectively.“Ending things was your choice, Taz.Not mine.”
I drew a deep breath.“Actually, it wasn’t my choice.I didn’t think I had a choice.”
“I don’t understand.”
Grace was standing just a few feet away, but knowing I had no right to touch her, made it feel like she was on the other side of the world.
“Quinn called me while I was on tour.She asked me about you.”
“How did she know about me?”
“The profile pics on social media.”
Understanding lit her pretty blue eyes as she nodded.“Ah, so that’s why you took them down.Got it.”
I knew I had to cut to the chase, so I said, “She basically gave me an ultimatum.You or her.”
She opened her mouth before closing it and drawing a deep breath through her nose.“And you chose her.Of course you did, because she’s your daughter.I understand now.Thanks for clearing that up.”
She was already reaching for her keys and I panicked.“Wait!I made a mistake.I was an idiot for going along with what she wanted, and I intend to tell her that, first chance I get.”
“That may not be the best decision.Your relationship with her is still on shaky ground, I assume?”
I shrugged.“Don’t know that it’ll ever be solid, or that she even wants it to be.As long as she’s keeping me on my toes, she’s getting whatever she wants from me.”After my talk with Luc and Jasper, I was finally starting to get it.My daughter was using my guilt and shame to cash in.
“That’s your issue to work through,” she said, raising her hand.“I’m not your therapist, or even your girlfriend anymore.”Her expression softened.“I’m glad you’re seeing Jasper though.He’s excellent.And I’m sure he can help you get through this.”
“I can’t get over losing you though,” I said, taking a step forward.“And I don’t want to.”
“Please don’t do this.”She sighed.“This hasn’t been easy for me, either.In fact, it’s been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through.”She bit her lip, her eyes sliding down my chest.“I meant it when I said I was in love you, that what we had was special.”
“Then how can you be with someone else already?”I knew I had no right to ask, but it was eating me up inside, imagining another man in her bed.
“What are talking about?”When I didn’t respond right away, she said, “That dinner tonight, he’s just a friend.I’ve known him for years, and he’s married, with a daughter.”She stood a little straighter, her eyes meeting mine.“Not that I owe you an explanation.”
“What about that picture you posted online?”I thrust my hands into the pockets of my bomber jacket to keep from touching her, “Who was he?”
She closed her eyes.“My friend’s brother.I was at her birthday, hadn’t seen her brother in years, and he wanted a picture.Asked me to post it and tag him.”She shook her head.“I can’t even believe I’m explaining any of this to you.It’s none of your damn business!”
She turned her back, resting her hand on the counter-height L-shaped desk in her lobby.
I couldn’t resist the urge to get closer, to brush my lips against the side of her head, breathe her in.“You’re right.I forfeited the right to know anything about your life.But baby, you gotta know this is killing me.I don’t know how to let you go.”
“Well, you’re going to have to figure it out.Because it is over.It has to be.”
“Why?”I didn’t dare wrap my arms around her the way I wanted to.Or bury my face in her neck.But it was breaking me not to.“Why does it have to be over?I know I was an idiot.I’m sorry.But everyone makes mistakes and?—”
“Your daughter doesn’t want me in your life.She’s already made that clear.”
“But I do want you in my life.I need you.Let me deal with Quinn.”
She finally turned around and we were standing so close her breasts were brushing my chest.But I refused to step back.I wanted her to face the visceral connection between us, because I knew it was like nothing she’d ever experience with another man.
