Page 60 of Payback
“I love that.” It made her feel bad that she’d waited so long to tell Loran how she felt about him. “And you,” she whispered. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too.” His smile was sad when he said, “I’m so glad you got to know her. That she had the same kind of impact on you that she had on me.”
Bella couldn’t imagine their friend not having a huge impact on the lives she touched. She was different from anyone Bella had ever known. She listened like every word mattered. Like every conversation she had was the most important one she’d ever had. Bella wanted to be just like her, treating the people in her life like they mattered, because they did.
“She taught me so much,” Bella said. “She taught me how to treat people. Before I met her I was so caught up in my own life. I thought my career was the be-all to end-all. Sure, my family and friends were important to me, but I didn’t make as much time for them as I should have.”
“We’re all guilty of that, I’m afraid.”
That was another thing she loved about Loran. He never made her feel guilty when she fell short. He just loved her as she was, flaws and all.
“But knowing Stella makes me want to do better. For her. For myself.” She smiled at Loran. “For you.”
His full lips tipped up and she reached across the seat to kiss him when he stopped at a red light.
“For me, huh?
“If we’re going to do this, we’re going to have to do it right.”
“Meaning?”
The old Bella would have held back, but losing Stella made her realize she couldn’t afford to live in fear any longer. Life was too short. Too precious for regrets. “You, and this relationship, have to be my top priority. Everything else is secondary.” Her mother once told her that was the recipe to a long and happy marriage, to let the other person know they mattered above all else.
“I like the sound of that.” He grinned. “And you know it goes both ways.”
It was different for him though. He didn’t have a nine to five job. He was a professional athlete with a long season and lengthy road trips. He had to be completely focused on his sport for more than half the year. Yet somehow her brother and Grace made that work.
“Just say it.”
Bella was still surprised he could read her so easily, like he’d known her forever. “Baseball is a huge part of your life. I know it won’t be easy once the season starts but—”
“Baseball isn’t my whole life, Bella. There was a time when it felt like it was. When getting this championship ring was the only thing that mattered. But a lot has changed since then.”
The same was true for her brother. Now that Ethan was married with a family of his own he considered baseball just a career, not his life anymore.
“Has it?”
She hadn’t known Loran when he was breaking into the league or working his butt off to get into a starting rotation on a contending team. She could only imagined how determined he’d had to be to make his dreams come true.
“Everything has changed.” He turned into his driveway and cut the engine before turning to face her. “Being with you has changed everything for me.”
She didn’t know how she could love him so much after such a short time, but she knew better than to question it. Her heart was in charge where Loran was concerned. And she didn’t have to wonder where it was leading her. She always knew. Right back to him.
“I feel the same way.”
He brushed his hands over her fingers, rubbing the ring finger on her left hand. “I want to see a wedding ring there. Sooner than later would be good.”
She nodded, fearing that less with every day that passed. “I want that too.”
He didn’t look surprised, or question her, which let her know he was beginning to trust what they had. Just as she was.
“You ready to go inside?” He took a deep breath. “To call Stella’s family and pass on our condolences?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”
