Page 51 of Payback
Matt stole a look at Loran, who was daring him to accept without saying a word.
“Uh, I might be pretty busy this week, getting settled in and all, but I’m sure I’ll see you around.” He offered Loran his hand. “It was nice meeting you.”
He relaxed his clenched hand before offering it to Matt. “You too.”
Bella waited until Matt left before she instructed her assistant to hold her calls before slamming the door. “What the hell was that?”
“You tell me. Who was that guy? And don’t tell me he was just a friend.” He glared at her. “You dated him, didn’t you?”
“What does that have to do with anything? I dated a lot of guys.”
She immediately wished she could retract her foot from her mouth. She’d dated Matt, she hadn’t slept with him. As far as she was concerned, that put their relationship in safe territory.
“And that’s supposed to make me feel better?”
He crossed his bulging arms over his chest and Bella immediately felt sorry for Matt. He must have been intimidated as hell by her larger-than-life and obviously territorial boyfriend.
“I thought we were supposed to trust each other, Loran.” She felt the sadness sweep through her as she began to wonder whether it was a hopeless proposition for two people who’d lived the lives they had to ever learn to trust each other. “This can’t work if we don’t.”
“And it can’t work if you keep seeing guys you slept with under the guise of friendship,” he snapped, making her jaw drop.
“We never slept together! Not that it’s any of your business who I slept with before we met.” She’d never asked him about his conquests and she was sure his tripled hers in numbers.
“I’m an open book,” he said, spreading his arms. “I don’t have any secrets. And I can assure that I’m not friends with any of my ex’s.”
“Maybe that says something about you then.” There was no way she was going to back down. She had a right to have male friends, even if they had dated a few times in another life. “I’m not going to justify my friendships to you, Loran. You either trust me or you don’t.”
“Then you’re still going to see this guy… as friends? Knowing that it pisses me off?”
She couldn’t believe he was being so unreasonable about this. Why would she cut Matt out of her life, just because Loran couldn’t handle the thought of her having an innocent lunch with someone she’d known since they were pre-pubescent teens?
She started pacing the floor, trying to work off some of her anger and frustration so she didn’t blow up at him the way she wanted to. Relationships were about compromise. She knew they’d have their share of fights, like every other couple, but she wanted them to be able to talk it out, not walk out.
“Why are you so intimidated by Matt?”
He chuckled, though his lingering anger was obvious in his rigid stance. “You think I’d be intimidated by a guy like that? Think again, babe.”
“Is it because he’s… different than you?” She knew she was treading in dangerous territory, but she was trying to understand him better, so they wouldn’t have to continue having the same arguments.
“He sure as hell is.” He sneered. “And if you were into that guy, it makes me wonder…”
Her heart broke as she heard the words he wasn’t willing to say. “What I see in you?”
“No!”
He had his pride, she could respect that, but they had to be honest with each other, so she continued pushing. “Are you sure?”
Loran scrubbed his hands over his face. “You’ve got to be kidding me. He held his right hand up, revealing his diamond championship ring. “You see this? That makes me a winner, Bella. No ex-boyfriend of yours could ever compete with that. I’ve got it all, remember?”
“Then why are you so afraid of losing me?” she asked, gently. “To someone like Matt?”
He sucked in a breath and the pain she saw in his eyes slayed her.
After a beat of silence he said, “Because I won’t always be this guy. One day I’ll be just another retired ball player with some good memories and a few bucks in the bank. Will you still want me then? Or will a guy like that be more your speed?”
It hurt that he had to ask her that, but if they couldn’t ask each other the tough questions there was no hope for them. “What do you think?” She tipped her head back and looked him in the eye.
He closed his eyes briefly while curling his hands into fists. “Bella, I feel like I’m walking on eggshells with you. I’m so afraid to say or do the wrong thing and drive you away. I can’t live like that.”
