Page 3 of Three Minutes
I rub my hand along my chest, glancing over at my dresser. I quickly walk over and open the top drawer, reaching for the two bottles hidden underneath piles of socks. I throw three pills in my mouth, chewing them up like candy as the taste of bitterness coats my tongue. Once the chalky substance reachesmy stomach, the heaviness in my chest gradually eases. It’s like a trigger in my brain. Even though the medication hasn’t kicked in yet, it’s the comfort in knowing I’ve taken it that calms the beast inside me.
Back in the kitchen, Mom stands by the window with a hot cup of tea in hand, using her favorite butterfly mug. She turns her head to smile, then nods at the tea she poured for me that’s waiting on the table. I grab it, breathing in notes of cinnamon and honey. I lean against the counter beside her, taking her in as she gazes out at the woods behind our house. I don’t know how I would ever survive without her. I’ve spent years trying to protect and ensure her safety, but I’ve never once thought about my survival. What it would mean if I ever lost her. The thought makes my insides turn.
My eyes fall to where her other hand rests along her tiny collarbone. Images of that night flash in my head, and all over again, I can see the dark bruises around her neck, the symmetrical imprint of large hands. For weeks, those bruises lingered on her, and I had to be reminded that it was my father’s hands tight around her neck, so close to ending her life. I shake my head as the anxious feeling crawls along my skin. Mom notices my discomfort and places her hand on my arm. “What’s wrong, Ezra?” she asks softly.
I bite down hard on my bottom lip as I take in the concern behind her stare. I let out a breath through my nose. “I’m not going today, I’d rather stay home.”
She removes her hand from my arm, shaking her head. “Yes, you are. I won’t take no for an answer.” She crosses her arms at me, giving me her best serious expression, still holding her cup of tea. It’s hard to take her seriously, given how small she appears standing in front of me.
“Why does it matter if I go or not? I don’t need to celebrate my birthday, it’s just another day.” I guzzle down the tea and place itin the sink before turning to walk away.
Mom grabs my arm, causing me to stop in my tracks. I keep my face turned away from her, staring at the floor, waiting for her response. She lets out a gentle huff. “Because you’ve spent the last three years worrying about me, hardly going anywhere with your friends. You’ve barely lived, Ezra. And I blame myself for letting you do it for so long. You can’t protect me every second of the day. And even if you could, it’s not your place to do so. So please, if you can’t go for yourself…go for me, please?” Her voice cracks with her last words.
My eyes pinch shut at the desperation in her voice. I slowly turn around, bringing my eyes to hers. She does her best to smile at me while holding back tears. That’s all it takes, seeing her like this. As bad as I want to say no and go shut myself in my bedroom, I can’t do it to her. “Fine, I’ll go…for you.” Relief immediately flashes across her face. She quickly sets her tea down and pulls me in for a hug. I close my eyes and lay my forehead on her shoulder as I take in her sweet, comforting scent with hints of lavender and rosemary. She’s always smelled the same since I was a small kid.
“I love you, you know that, right?” she mumbles into my chest.
I nod my head against her shoulder. “I love you, too, Mom.” She squeezes me a little harder as a silent reply.
A car horn blares outside just as my phone vibrates in my pocket, signaling that Beck and Blake have arrived to pick me up. Mom pats my back as we finally let each other go from our hug. I turn toward the front door just as Mom speaks. “Can you do one thing for me? Your uncle Jesse is stopping by after work tonight. Could you make it back home by 11? He’d really like to see you for your birthday.”
“Yeah, of course, Mom.” She gives me a quick nod and follows me to the door.
Beck and Blake sit at the end of the driveway, music crankedup way too loud, head-banging. Mom and I exchange a look, probably both thinking the same thing. As I walk toward Beck’s car, I can’t help but glance back at Mom. “Are you sure you’ll be okay?” I ask.
She purses her lips, holding back a smile. “Yes, Ezra, I’ll be fine. Now go have some fun with those crazy-ass twins! Jesse and I will see you later tonight.”
I nod and climb into the backseat of Beck’s car. Just as we pull away, Blake rolls down his window and sticks his head out. “Don’t miss me too much, Esther!” he shouts obnoxiously. Beck reaches over and slaps him on the back of the head. I glance at Mom through the window as she walks back into the house, shaking her head at Blake’s antics. As we drive away, I watch my house fade behind us.
Taking a deep breath, I finally turn my attention to the twins, who are bantering about nothing important. Beck’s blue eyes catch my reflection in the rearview mirror as she looks at me, and I can’t help but silently stare back. There was something different about her gaze. And just as I was trying to figure it out, she quickly shifted her focus back to the road, leaving me wondering what she was thinking about.
We park at the end of the quiet, dead-end street where trees form a thick wood line, their leaves rustling gently. The twins quickly spring out of the car to retrieve their items from the trunk. Blake hoists a large blue cooler, while Beck juggles two bags. One small and sleek, the other much larger. Realizing I’ve only brought myself and my phone, I offer to carry Beck’s bags for her. In return, she gives a smile of appreciation.
We then start our trek through the dense, wooded area with tall trees looming overhead. If anyone were to watch us, they mightthink we are simply vanishing into an endless green forest. But for us, this forest holds memories; we’ve wandered these paths countless times, memorizing each twist and turn. Starting as curious kids, we explored corners we probably shouldn’t have. This particular path is one I’m glad we did. It was our secret trail, leading to something much more than just lines of trees.
After a few minutes of walking along the path, we reach two large, moss-covered logs on either side of the trail, their sturdy shapes pointing toward the small clearing beyond the trees. I still vividly remember the day Blake and I rolled those logs into place. When we were around ten and eleven-years-old, we truly felt we had accomplished something significant, having created the coolest checkpoint on our way to our final destination. Beck had enjoyed watching us struggle to move the logs from their original spots. It didn’t help that she nagged us from the tree limb she sat on above us. Every so often, small twigs or crumbled leaves would hit my head, accompanied by giggles and snorts. I learned it was best not to react because it only made her even more amped up. Still, it was hard to hide the smile on my face—until Blake caught it and shoved me for feeding into his twin sister’s playful antics.
The memory sticks with me as I step out into the sunlit clearing, the warm rays surrounding me like a comforting blanket. A breeze swirls through the air, carrying the last weeks of summer. In Mavesdale, September marks the end of the season’s warmth. I carefully set Beck’s bags on the ground, taking a moment to absorb the beauty of this hidden gem we had discovered during our childhood adventures. The trees’ vibrant greens sway, their leaves slowly hinting at the golden hues of early fall. The familiarity of it all stirs up years of memories.
After removing our shoes, we stand on the flat ledge, our feet firmly planted on the cool, rough stone as we gaze out at the expansive lake that stretches before us. Its surface shimmers likea sheet of glass, perfectly mirroring the blues of the sky above. Across from us, in the distance, are the western mountains. In the evening, the sunsets here are stunning. The pinks and purples cast over the distant peaks of the mountains, while reflecting on the water. It reminds me of something you’d see in a painting hanging in an art gallery somewhere.
Beck empties her larger bag, pulling out an oversized blanket to lie on the ground. I grab one side to help lay it flat, while Blake sets the cooler down on one corner to anchor it. Next, she pulls out a small Bluetooth speaker.
“I’ll take that, ma’am,” Blake drawls. He often feels the need to control what we’re listening to, whether in a car or in any other situation involving music. That’s how he developed his stage name,DJ Bliz-ake. And yeah, I know how cringy it sounds—that was the whole point when Beck and I assigned the name to him. He despises us for it, but he holds his chin high as he does.
Once he turns the music up, he yanks his shirt over his head and tosses it carelessly onto the ground, sprinting toward the ledge. He quickly shouts, “First one in has the biggest dick in Mavesdale!” He then jumps headfirst over the ten-foot ledge, landing smoothly in the water.
Beck and I exchange amused looks as we move closer, looking down at Blake as he floats on the lake, signaling us to come join him. Beck rolls her eyes playfully as she strides back to the blanket where her things are. I trail behind her, slipping my shirt off and removing my phone from my pocket. As I catch up, I can feel her glance over her shoulder, her gaze briefly tracing the contours of my shoulders and chest. A flush rises to my cheeks, but she quickly clears her throat, redirecting her attention back to the items scattered on the blanket.
I watch as her auburn hair flutters in the breeze, catching the sunlight and shimmering in shades of red and brown. She keeps her eyes fixed on the ground, a slight blush creepingonto her cheeks as she pulls her shirt over her head, the fabric clinging briefly before falling away. With a flick of her wrist, she unbuttons her shorts, sliding them down her long, sun-kissed legs. When she stands back up, I let my eyes wander along her body. She wears a dark blue two-piece bathing suit that perfectly showcases her young, womanly curves. My eyes linger on the small birthmark at her lower left hip. What was just a mark to me before now feels more intimate. I catch myself wanting to trace my thumb along it, but the silly thought quickly evaporates as Blake yells for us.
“Ladies first.” I gestured toward Beck.
Without a moment’s hesitation, she steps confidently to the edge and launches herself into the air, diving in. She deliberately lands just inches from Blake, sending a splash of cool water into his face. He retaliates by showering her with another wave of water.
“Alright, birthday boy, let’s see what you’ve got!” Blake’s voice echoes. I turn around, planting my feet firmly on the tip of the ledge and letting my heels hang off just a little. “Oh, here we go, show-off,” Blake whines dramatically, though a giggle escapes from Beck beside him. I bite back a smile as I backflip off the ledge, landing feet first into the water, just feet away from the twins.
The lake feels lukewarm against my skin. I lean back into the water, letting the tension that has clung to my muscles slowly melt away. With each moment, I sense the anxiousness that was wrapped tightly around my nerves slowly begin to fade. I needed this today. This place has always been a haven where I can escape my thoughts. Even though it’s only minutes from home, I could always come here to create distance from my father. He was hateful most days, or he barely spoke to me at all.
