Page 14 of Vying for a Viscount
“Forgive me for monopolizing Lady Rutherford’s time,” he said ashe bowed. “Your Grace, Lady Langford, Lady Rutherford, I bid you goodnight.”
Letitia noted that both her friends were watching Greyson saunter away.
“How was your time in the gardens?” Emmeline asked with a sly smile.
“Yes, please tell us,” Lilly said, mimicking Emmeline’s look.
“Shhh,” she said, looking around and relaxing when it seemed no one had heard them. “It was pleasant. We bumped into Hunter and Anastasia.”
This time, when Emmeline spoke, she lowered her voice. “We tried to watch her, but Anastasia’s a slippery one. We knew she was with Hunter and would be safe... well, relatively safe, anyway. I know you were upset with Greyson and his neglect of you, but I recognize the look of interest in a man’s eyes. Perhaps he has a very good reason for his neglect.”
“He did explain, and so did Anastasia.” Tears threatened to appear, and she fought them off. “A note would’ve been nice. But he made no promises to me in Newmarket. Just a passing comment about calling on me, which I took too seriously. It was hardly a declaration of undying love and commitment.” By the widening of her friends’ eyes, she knew she’d said too much. What was going on with her tonight? One moment she was almost paralyzed with guilt, and the next she was ready to cry her eyes out. Oh, dear, her hand covered her stomach. She must be close to getting her courses.
Lilly sighed and took her hand. “He hurt you—more than I realized. You care more deeply for him than I thought. For that, forgive me for not being there to support you.”
“Don’t be silly.” Now she felt bad for Lilly feeling bad. “You and Emmeline were at your country estates until recently. If I recall correctly, I made only one small comment about it in my letters to you both. Hardly a cry for help. I’m a grown woman, a widow, and amother. I can handle the disappointments that come up in life.”
Emmeline took her free hand in hers. “We know how strong and resilient you are. We wish you hadn’t pined away for Greyson alone.”
“Thank you. Both of you. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll go home now.”
“We will walk out with you,” Lilly said. “My little unborn baby and I are ready for bed.”
Emmeline and Lilly saw her to her carriage and left after exchanging hugs and promises that things would improve. As she sat inside her carriage, listening to the clip-clop of the horses’ hooves and the creaking of the wheels, she began to believe them.
When the carriage stopped, Letitia startled awake. “I must be more tired than I thought,” she said to herself just as her footman opened the door, lowered the steps and assisted her in alighting from the carriage.
Mr. Henry greeted her at the door. “Welcome home, my lady. Miss Jane is waiting for you.”
“Thank you, Mr. Henry. You may retire for the night.”
He bowed. “Thank you, my lady.”
Feeling weary from all the stimulation of being around so many people, she trudged up the stairs on tired legs, her hand gripping the banister tightly with every step. After spending time in Newmarket for the races, she thought she would be used to crowds by now. But somehow tonight was taxing on her, making her wonder if she would ever get used to the London social scene. Crowds didn’t bother her; she just needed to get acclimated to them, and she never really had the chance while married to Graham. She supposed that, since she hoped to spend more and more time with theton, she had better get used to the social whirl. Perhaps tonight’s fatigue had more to do with being in private with Greyson and the kiss they shared? It was as though no time at all had passed since they were together in Newmarket.
When she entered her chambers, she said, “Did you forget I toldyou not to wait up?”
“My lady.” Jane curtsied. “I didn’t forget. I wanted to wait for you in case you did have need of my services.”
“Thank you. Please loosen my dress and stays. I can take care of the rest myself.”
“Yes, my lady,” Jane said as she did as asked.
Jane closed the door quietly when she left. Letitia stripped down, poured water from a pitcher into the basin, wet a cloth, scrubbed her skin, and dried off. She used tooth powder on a cloth to clean her teeth. She went behind the screen in the far corner of her room to take care of personal needs. Then she put on her night rail that Jane had left on her bed and draped her evening clothes over a chair to keep them from wrinkling.
She climbed into bed, turned onto her side, and snuggled beneath the coverlet, sighing heavily. Being in bed beneath the covers felt decadent rather than a nightly occurrence. Her mind drifted to the kiss she had shared with Greyson. It felt so natural to her, like coming home after an extended visit away. Did he feel it too? Or was she alone with her feelings? Sometimes it was hard to read Greyson. One moment, his emotions were plain as day, like an open book, and the next, the book snapped shut. When his guard was down, his gorgeous green eyes were a window to his soul. When he protected himself, they were a dark abyss, swirling green and black, lacking any emotion whatsoever. Those glimpses made her skin prickle. Seeing him devoid of emotion didn’t sit well with her. He was meant to be joyful and unguarded, not shut off from the world and his surroundings.
Tonight wasn’t the first time she’d caught a glimpse of this side of him. A time or two in Newmarket, she had witnessed it, which made her wonder why. He should always be joyful, open, and approachable.
She rolled onto her back, stared up at the ceiling, wondering what Greyson was doing. Was he home and in bed, thinking of her as she was of him? Had he visited one of his clubs for a nightcap? Did he dothat every night? There were many things she didn’t know about him. Little things she wanted to know. Big things she hoped to know one day. For the first time, she let herself acknowledge that they were, in some ways, strangers and, in others, well acquainted.
What she learned from Anastasia that night was that he was an intensely private person when it came to his family and their troubles. As she thought back to their time in Newmarket, to the horse races and the nightly balls and soirees they attended, she never sensed that he felt guilty about being away from his parents. Yet according to Anastasia, he did. Not only was he private, but she was also beginning to think he hid his feelings deep inside.
Chapter Five
After leaving theBrennan musicale, Greyson rode to Club Knight. It was a large three-story townhouse, much like any other home on this street that bordered on fashionable London. Greyson had been here many times before, but never inside the club rooms. He usually entered from the back and went down the stairs to a private, windowless room with two secret entrances. A room where gentlemen loyal to the Crown met and planned. A group of spies that didn’t report to the Home Office. The Home Office didn’t know about them. At least, not yet they didn’t. It was getting harder and harder to stay in the shadows and keep their existence secret. They reported directly to the Prince Regent and had been formed at the conclusion of the last war with Napoleon.
But the organization wasn’t what brought him here tonight. Tonight, he was a club member for the first time, and he would see the inside of these walls in a different light. Greyson hesitated on the stoop, his heart pounding. He stood to the side as several members came and went. He chose to attend tonight because it was a regular night with gambling, billiards, and socializing. No dancing or masquerade to contend with.
