Page 20 of Betting on a Duke
Chapter Nine
“Would you careto stroll through the gardens?” Samuel asked once they entered the salon, and the uncertainty in his voice astounded her. The Samuel she once knew was never unsure of himself when it came to her. Perhaps her unusual behavior at the dinner table caused it.
“I would love that.” She smiled, feeling lighter and happier but still guarded. “The gardens and fresh air sound perfect.”
“Shall we?” He extended his arm, and instead of placing her hand on his forearm, she looped her arm around his elbow.
“We shall.” How wonderful it felt to be close to him. If only they both weren’t holding something back. There was an invisible wall of unease, uncertainty, and a past to navigate through before they could be at ease with each other as they once were. She hoped it wouldn’t take long.
They strolled leisurely out of the double glass doors onto the veranda, down a few stairs, and into gardens lit by glass lanterns hanging from tall poles. “How long have you known the Earl and Countess of Langford?” she asked as their feet crunched on the gravel path and they walked farther away from the veranda.
“I met Langford last year at Tattersall’s. He was buying a mare for the countess and a matching four for his carriage. I offered him my help.”
“That was very thoughtful of you.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I was also very much in awe of him, Blackstone, and Mr. Caldwell for building their import and export empire. I had never met them personally, although we would have had overlapping years at Eton; however, I had heard a great deal about them. So I took the opportunity to introduce myself and offer any assistance I could. When he realized my vast knowledge regarding horseflesh, he took my recommendations. Since then, I’ve become acquainted with Blackstone and Caldwell as well. They could never replace my friendship with Greyson and Hunter, but they are friends of mine as well. Greyson and Hunter have also become friends with them. They have another friend, the Marquess of Hollingsworth, whom I’ve met and become friendly with. He and his wife are away at the moment and couldn’t attend this evening.”
“I’m glad for you.” She genuinely was. They were both making new friends, which would help make life less lonely.
“What about you? How did you meet the Earl and Countess of Langford?”
“Letitia’s mother and the Duchess of Blackstone’s mother have been close friends for a long time. Letitia has known Emmeline her entire life and met Lilly when her first husband died and she came to live with Emmeline in London.” She paused and inhaled. “I only met them recently, but we have become friends thanks to Letitia.”
“I’m also glad for you. I can’t imagine that being married to an older man gave you many chances to meet other young women like yourself.”
They arrived at a black wrought-iron bench and sat so close that their shoulders, hips, and thighs brushed against each other. Neither moved to create space between them. The warmth of his body felt nice against hers. “To be truthful, Chesterfield didn’t allow me out of the house. Well, that’s not entirely true. I was allowed on the grounds. We never attended social functions together. He went out, but I wasstuck at home. Honestly, I was glad not to be around him, and he certainly didn’t want to be anywhere near me.”
He turned and took her hands into his, sadness shining in his eyes. “I don’t understand. If he didn’t want to be with you, why did he marry you?”
Her cheeks reddened, and she looked down. “He wanted an heir, and that was all. He couldn’t be bothered with me... except... for...” She didn’t believe her face could get hotter, but it did. She was utterly mortified that she was sharing these intimate details about her marriage with him.
He gently squeezed her hands. “I’m sorry.”
“What happened and what was done is over. I never gave him an heir, and he went to his grave despising me for it. Cursed me to a barren life.” Tears pooled in her eyes, and she blinked them away.
“I’m sure you’ll have children someday. Chesterfield was old. He was undoubtedly the one who was barren.”
What Samuel said was true. But now was not the time for that conversation. Nor did Clarice know if the right time would ever come. If he went away and she never saw him again, he should never know. Why should he suffer as she had if she could spare him from the pain? She’d suffered enough over the years for both of them, cried enough to create a river full of her tears and carried a constant pain in her chest from the loss, enough to break a weaker woman. She suddenly had to blink back tears.
“Can I ask a question?” His voice was quiet and unsure.
“Yes.”
“Did you ever think about me?”
She pulled her hands away from his in shock as anguish and pain pierced her heart. How could he ever think she hadn’t? She gasped, “How can you ask such a question?”
Before she continued, he took her hands in his again, gently brushing his thumbs over the back of her hands. “Forgive me. That wasrather insensitive of me. What I should have said was I thought of you often.”
“I thought of you as well. I realize we have a lot to talk about, but could you hold me and let us enjoy this lovely evening without dredging up the past or my unhappy marriage?”
“This I can do.” He let go of her hands, wrapped one arm around her shoulders, and pulled her close so their bodies touched everywhere. Clarice rested her head on his shoulder and inhaled his familiar scent. A scent that hadn’t changed. Samuel always smelled of a mix of hay, horses, and the outdoors. Some might think it was a bad smell. To her, he smelled like coming home and heaven all in one.
“I missed this,” he murmured as he rested his head on hers.
“Me too.” He took her free hand in his, and their hands rested on her lap. His thumb gently stroked the underside of her wrist where the glove met her skin, and she wished she hadn’t put her gloves back on after eating. The circles he drew with his thumb made her skin tingle in a very good way. The sensation traveled up her arm, down her stomach until it settled between her thighs. She moved her bottom on the bench, trying to heighten the sensation. Desire wasn’t something she’d felt in forever, and she wanted to enjoy it.
Samuel chuckled. “Are there ants in your gown? Because you seem squirmy all of a sudden.”
