Page 26 of Pursuing a Duke
He broke the kiss, his teeth and lips caressing her neck. Her head fell to the side, giving him better access. She wanted to feel his heated mouth everywhere on her sensitive skin.
Moans sounded from both of them. “Your skin is so soft and tastes like warm sunshine.”
One hand pulled the front of her bodice down, exposing her breasts to the warm air. He bent his head and took one nipple into his mouth as he palmed the other with his large hand, squeezing and tugging. She gripped his shoulders for support as her knees buckled. His tongue swirled around and around, and his teeth closed around the taut peak, making her see stars in daylight. Just as she was losing herself completely to his touch and her body felt entirely liquified, he backed up and righted the front of her gown. He stepped back further, dragged his hands through his hair, and groaned, “Forgive me.”
It took a moment for Emmeline’s mind to catch up to the sudden withdrawal of Andrew and what he’d been doing to her body. She cleared her throat and placed her hand on her pounding heart as she gasped for much-needed air. “There is nothing to forgive. I’m no virgin.”
His head fell back and he laughed, deep and throaty. “Thank God for that. But still, we needed to stop before I pulled up your skirts and thrust my...” He tugged on his hair.
Having gotten her aroused body somewhat under control, she said, “Shall we finish the scavenger hunt?” Her words were barely more than a whisper as her breathing had not returned to normal.
He held his hand out to her, his face and eyes suddenly guarded, and it pained her. “No. Let’s return to the picnic areaand wait for the other teams to finish. I could use something to cool myself off, and the lemonade tasted good.”
“Yes.” Something cold was just what she needed to slake the lust still humming throughout her entire body. Andrew, his talented hands and exquisite mouth, shocked her at how quickly her body responded. It felt as though her body and his knew they belonged to one another.
*
As they satbeneath a canopy, sipping lemonade, Andrew’s mind wandered. Sleep had eluded him the previous night as visions of Emmeline, naked and in his bed, had him in a constant state of arousal. He’d taken to easing it with his hand, but it was useless. His body and mind craved her and her alone.
Even though he’d been in love with her for ten years and had always craved her, he hadn’t shied away from brief affairs. He had to feed his body’s physical needs. The ladies he’d had affairs with always knew beforehand that he wasn’t looking for a wife or a longtime mistress. Unfortunately, more than one claimed to have fallen in love with him, and he felt lower than a slug each time he walked away, but he couldn’t commit to any of them. His heart had always belonged to Emmeline, and that would never change.
But though he loved her with everything he had, he would give anything to have his friend, Aiden, still alive and breathing, even knowing that his heart, body, and soul would never be whole because she would then still belong to Aiden.
It took years for him to realize—really understand—that Aiden wasn’t ever coming back. Dead was dead. The guilt he battled daily from his involvement in his death would never go away either. Perhaps when he confessed his sins to Emmelineand had her forgiveness, he could finally breathe easy and forgive himself.
He didn’t believe Aiden would want him to suffer. He truly believed Aiden would be happy for both of them if they embraced the love that had started so long in the past. It wasn’t as if Aiden hadn’t known about Andrew’s love for her. And he’d always been a kind friend and a good man.
As far as Emmeline’s love for him went, he hoped she loved him. He hoped her love was true enough to overcome his treachery. Aiden would be alive if not for him. But he couldn’t think about that now. He wished she would fall so deeply in love with him that the past wouldn’t matter. That when she found out he’d killed Aiden, she would still love him anyway and forgive him.
His stomach tightened up with excruciating pain as he finished his cool drink. Guilt manifested into real sickness with him at times. This morning, he had tried to eat something from the breakfast tray Clayton had brought him, but he’d failed. The morning meal was rarely something he partook in. Luncheon, dinner, and occasional suppers were when he ate, as the guilt from his inevitable bad dreams had usually abated by then. Not that the guilt ever went away. But it eased its talons enough that he could take in food without the nausea.
When the scavenger hunt began, he’d had every intention of finishing the game, but when he remembered the gazebo from the day before, his feet had moved that way of their own accord. He needed to hold her close to his heart as much as he needed air to survive. But he had not intended to take it so far and was ashamed of putting her in such a precarious situation. Yesterday, he had Caldwell looking out, giving them certain freedoms, but not today. Today, anyone could have come upon them, and she would have been exposed from the waist up. Staring into his cup of lemonade now, he could see his handstrembling. He had lost all reason, and if he didn’t get himself under control, Emmeline would pay for his actions. He needed to control his urges and lust when in public places. He could not touch her again until they were locked inside one of their bedchambers, safe from the eyes of other guests and those prone to gossip.
He kept reminding himself that he loved her too much to risk her reputation, but in the heat of the moment, his brain had malfunctioned, and natural desire and need took over his body. Emmeline was the only one who affected him so. Love was powerful, making him wonder if he would survive the rest of the house party unscathed—or, more importantly, survive Emmeline.
“You have become quiet,” Emmeline’s soothing voice pulled him out of his thoughts. “Are you well?”
“Please forgive me.” He forced his lips to curve up and resemble a smile. “My mind wandered.”
Her luscious mouth said, “Oh.”
He reached beneath the table and squeezed her thigh to ease her discomfort. “Once again, forgive me. I would never want you to feel uncomfortable because I was listening to my mind. Regarding us, you have nothing to worry about. I hope you know how I feel about you.” Her expression looked even more uncertain than it did moments ago. He wasn’t helping the situation. He may have turmoil within his brain, but he needed to keep it from affecting Emmeline. She didn’t deserve to suffer from him projecting his guilt and frustrations outward. He knew she had her own demons to fight regarding Aiden. And some, if not all, of it was his fault for what he’d said to her before he left England. He’d been in a dark place and she hadn’t deserved to be sucked into his darkness. He owed her one hell of an apology for his behavior and he wondered if the time would ever be right.
“Would you care to return to the manor and visit the library? I would love a moment of calm and quiet to read a book and relax before dinner and more games. We could order tea.”
Her eyes flickered between his face and the other people gathered around them. The trepidation he witnessed briefly crossing her face stabbed his heart. He was hurting her without meaning to, and it twisted up his insides. “If you prefer not to, that’s fine. Would you rather play battledore and shuttlecock or pall-mall?”
“Goodness no,” she said with an exhale of air. “I am not interested in either one of them.”
“Good. I don’t feel like playing either.”
“I believe I would like time in the library, and tea sounds divine.”
Rising from his chair, he pulled hers back and held out his hand to help her stand. “The library it is.”
They walked in companionable silence, with just a hint of unease. Knowing he was the cause of that unease saddened Andrew.
Before they entered the library, he spoke with one of the footmen and requested a tray be brought to them. The library was cool and dark, with the curtains drawn to keep the sunlight from harming the volumes. He went to the three large windows and opened the curtains so they could see enough to read. Turning to Emmeline, who was scanning the shelves, he said, “Please remind me to close the curtains before we leave.”
