Page 34 of Loving an Earl
“One day, Caldwell,” Emmeline said, “when you least expect it, some lovely debutante will catch your eye. You will be smitten and running to the Archbishop of Canterbury for a special license.”
Everyone laughed except Caldwell. He looked at Edmund and then at Blackstone. “I won’t be the first gentleman to do so.”
Edmund’s muscles tightened at Caldwell’s hint. He would not be running off to get a special license—certainly not to marry Lilly after what he uncovered. Yes, part of him understood the papers he found were private and pertained to Henry and Lilly’s marriage and had nothing to do with him. But another part of him felt betrayed at the implication that neither of them had trusted him to do right by Lilly.
As the conversation went on around him, he studied Lilly to see if she would act differently after what they’d shared last night. She appeared the same, except now and then she glanced his way shyly and looked away quickly. He tried not to think too much about what it meant nor about the pieces of paper folded inside his jacket pocket.
When the gathering ended, earlier than planned as it looked as though a passing shower was going to come through, Edmund approached Lilly. “May I have a quick word with you?”
Her eyes moved to Aunt Vivian and Emmeline before landing back on him. Her green eyes sparkling in the remaining sunlight did strange things to his insides. He felt as though she could see all his thoughts and dreams. “You can walk me to our carriage,” she answered.
They walked side by side. She hadn’t taken his arm and he tried to not feel snubbed. No sense waiting any longer to bring up what he wished to discuss. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled forth several pieces of folded paper. “I found these in a hidden drawer in the desk in the study. Care to explain?”
Lilly took the papers from him. While she looked them over, her eyes widened and her cheeks pinkened. She handed them back. “I had nothing to do with these. That is my signature on the paper regarding our marriage, but I don’t remember seeing it before now. As for the trust, Henry insisted on it.”
“So he didn’t trustme.” His stomach knotted in agony at the realization.
“Trust had nothing to do with it.”
“How can you say that? The proof is in the papers.” He bristled. “What other lies are you guarding that are waiting to be unearthed? What else are you and Uncle Henry hiding from me?”
Her footsteps faltered. “Nothing.”
“Forgive me if I don’t believe you.” He handed over another piece of paper. “I took the liberty of writing down the names of several eligible bachelors worthy of you.”
“I see.”
“Don’t be angry with me. I just want what’s best for you.”
“Of course you do,” she murmured. “Because last night meant nothing to you.”
He tamped down his anger because he needed to keep his voice low. “It’s because of last night that I made the list.”
Her eyes met his, tears forming in hers, and he told himself the list was for the best, but he knew it wasn’t true. He could lie to himself until the end of time and the truth would be the same. All he really wanted to do was burn the list and make Lilly his.
But pride was a bloody stubborn emotion.
*
Shock rippled throughouther body at his reaction to finding Henry’s papers. No matter what he believed, she’d never lied to him. She may not have volunteered the whole truth on some things, but she’d never outright lied. And it was clear to her now that what they shared last night meant nothing to him. Except it had not felt that way at the time. He had truly seemed to care for her. Was that something men did? Could they make love to a woman and have it not affect their heart? Their emotions? Their morals?
What a fool she was. One day. That was all it had taken for him to dismiss what they’d shared and supply her a list of marriageable gentlemen. She hadn’t expected him to swoon or propose marriage, but was a bit of kindness too much to ask?
Inside the carriage, Emmeline asked, “What did Langford want?”
Lilly refused to acknowledge the hurt having taken over her heart. “He gave me a list of potential suitors.”
“How very considerate of him,” Aunt Vivian said with all seriousness. “Is his name on the list?”
“Mama,” Emmeline scolded, “you know it will not be.”
“It should be. The room heats up from the way his eyes devour Lilly when they are in close proximity. I had nothing else to do today but watch you girls socializing with your gentlemen—”
“Aunt Vivian,” Lilly interjected, feeling sick to her stomach, “they are notourgentlemen.” Langford was only hers last night and never would be again.
Aunt Vivian waved her arm. “Regardless of what you both think, I watched Langford hunger for Lilly today. Anyone with one working eye could tell he has deep feelings for you. As for Blackstone, my dear daughter, the man looks at you with reverence. Give them both time to come to their senses. Men can be so blind and stubborn at times, it’s infuriating.”
Lilly looked at Emmeline with wide eyes, and they both burst out laughing. Aunt Vivian had at least one thing right—mencouldbe blind, stubborn, and infuriating.
