Page 94 of Before the Bond
I gave Maureen a smile. When she left, I pushed the bowl aside, careful not to spill it. Even that took effort.
Donovan told me to move to my room. I refused. The study was closer to everyone else's rooms and gave me a clear view of the estate. I couldn’t patrol. I could still watch. So Maureen padded the sofa with extra pillows and linen. Jake pushed the desk close to it.
"So you can see your papers," he said. I appreciated him for that.
Jake had wandered off earlier that day. Donovan had refused to let him join the patrols, so I wagered he was helping gather supplies — the ones being set aside in case everyone had to flee. No one said it out loud. We all prepared anyway.
Footsteps. Low voices. The house was tense. The worst of it was the looks.
The staff tried to stay clear of my study, especially when the door was left ajar. They would glance in, freeze, and dart their eyes away. When I walked the halls with the cane Maureen had procured, I caught myself in the mirror once. I looked like I was fading. Paler. Dark circles hollowing out where my eyes were, the color and light in them barely present.
"You look like a ghost," Tomas said one morning. Too bluntly, as was his way.
He wasn't wrong.
I met with the rest of the pack later that day. Jake filled the doorway first, golden-haired and a little breathless. Donovan came in behind him and stayed close to the door, arms crossed, already watching me the way he watched incoming weather. Stella was last, jacket still on, jaw set.
"The Voss pack is drawing closer," she said. "More wolves. Not just theirs."
"What?" Donovan snapped. "Why would they need outside wolves?"
"A show of force. Maybe witnesses or backup."
Jake, leaning against the doorway, frowned and said nothing.
Donovan looked at me. "Caleb. This can't continue. We need to do something."
"I already told you what to do —"
"No."
He slammed his hand against the table. Jake flinched. I exhaled slowly.
"We have to be practical," I said.
I looked at each of them. Everyone held their breath.
"If the fight goes badly tonight," I said, "Jake leads the pack east."
Jake went very still. "Me?"
"The alliance there will take you in. We don't connect with them often, but I've made sure they stayed warm. They'll have enough room for everyone to settle. You've only just shifted, but you have speed. You’ll be fast enough."
Jake's eyes turned glassy, but he didn't protest.
I turned to Donovan and Stella.
"I don't want you two fighting a losing battle. The moment I'm —" I paused and rephrased it. "If Maykhel kills me. You retreat the moment it happens. Don't protest. Don't do anything reckless. The only way this pack survives is if our numbers do."
Donovan gritted his teeth.
He crossed the study in four steps, took my collar in both hands, and pulled me forward.
"Donovan," Jake warned.
"It's fine," I murmured.
Donovan's eyes were dark. His grip didn't loosen. "How stupid are you? Loving someone doesn't mean handing them a knife and standing still."
