Page 42 of Expecting an Argument
My gaze dropped to the floorboard as I ate another donut. Watching him sit on his kitchen floor and nearly cry over a woman he had once deeply loved had been hard enough to witness. I understood why he had told me about Katie, but listening to him talk about her again sent a horrible prickle crawling down my neck and I had no idea why.
Maybe his pain made me uncomfortable. Broken hearts have barbs—anyone close enough can feel them.
“I never had another girlfriend after her,” Beau said pensively. “You’re the first person I’ve slept with inyearswho knew my real name.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “You had a fake name for fucking around?”
I instantly felt bad for laughing at him, but luckily he gave me a little smirk back. “Go to any club in the city and anyone there will tell you my name is Jake.”
“Jake, rhymes with fake.”
His smirk softened into a real smile. “Never thought of that.”
I picked up my pink water cup and set down my bag of donuts. “Did you know that I’ve never had a boyfriend?”
Beau took his eyes off the road for a split second to toss me an incredulous look. “You serious?”
I nodded as I took a sip of raspberry water. My dating apps were for hookups only, not commitment. After my dad left and the string of Mom’s boyfriends that followed, I was forever put off on the idea of being completely vulnerable to someone.
Mom had fallen for so many men and none of them ever did us any good.
“I never wanted anything serious and anything serious never wanted me,” I answered. “Besides, I’m not Ashley.”
He made a face. “What do you mean?”
I was about to ask him ifhewas serious. Ashley had been pretty and charming since junior high. All the boys wanted her, but she only had eyes for the shy running back who had helped her with her math homework.
I might have never wanted a relationship, but it still didn’t feel good being invisible next to Ashley.
“You remember me from high school,” I answered. “I was a potato in a hoodie! No boy wanted anything to do with me.”
He sucked in a long breath and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. “I’m going to say this as politely as I can…”
My fingers clutched my cup. “What?”
“We were teen boys, Adams.Everyonewanted something to do with you.”
“Explain.”
Beau held his fist over his lips, staring ahead as if a billboard with the correct response was just over the horizon.
“Your hoodie couldn’t hide what was underneath it,” he finally responded.
Oh.
Back in high school, I had strangled my growing chest with sports bras because anything that would fit me properly was out of our budget. When cooler weather came around, I figured I could get away with only wearing a tight tank top and a hoodie over it.
Guess not.
I scoffed. “Well, if my tits were that great, why didn’t I have a date for prom?”
He rested his elbow on the console between us. “Any guy was probably too scared to ask you. You were, and still are, very intimidating.”
I crossed my arms. Good. I could never stop men from leering at my big tits, but at least my resting bitch face kept them from invading my life. Beau was my one slip up, but he was just the father of my children. He wasn’t a partner, or a boyfriend, or even in that nebulous zone of being a friend with benefits.
Hell, I didn’t even consider us actual friends. We were merely two people irrevocably yoked by circumstance. Just because we could be civil on one car ride didn’t make us anything more than co-parents.
“I was never scared of you, though,” Beau said with a smirk.
