Page 37 of Expecting an Argument
The truth was dangerous, my mom had always said. The “Fontaine facade” was a decades-old trick—we hid our feelings, our thoughts, and our plans to protect ourselves from the leeches of the world. We kept people away. We ran from problems and covered up everything we couldn’t escape.
But I couldn’t escape Olivia. I had to face my old rival once again, but this time I hoped we could both leave the kitchen with at least a small victory.
And first...I had to start with an apology I should have said a decade ago.
“I was pissed off at our graduation,” I admitted. “Your medals sounded like you were wearing a cow bell when you walked so that’s why I…”
I couldn’t say it. I knew I was being a little shit when I actuallymooedat her when she crossed the graduation stage, but I never thought it would bring me so much shame after all this time.
I swallowed. “That’s why I did what I did. I never considered how it would have come across…or how it would have made you feel. I’m sorry.”
She looked up at me and sniffed. “You were that upset about coming in second place?”
No, but I wasn’t ready to tell her the real reason.
I ran my hands down the flannel pants. The back of my neck warmed and I chewed on my lip. It was exactly as Mom had warned—as soon as I opened up a little bit, more would come flooding out. I couldn’t stop what was coming, but maybe Icould limit what I admitted to.
“And…I was a jerk at the hospital, but it wasn’t because of you,” I said. “Grandpa died there, Christmas break of my sophomore year of college. It was…” I swallowed, trying not to remember what the doctors had done to Elren’s greatest man. “…horrendous. I was by his side when…when it happened. Clear case of medical neglect.”
She blinked away a tear. “Did you sue?”
I almost laughed, because of course she would ask.
I rested my head against a lower kitchen cabinet, not caring that I was getting protein shake in my hair, and let my eyes wander up to the white enameled ceiling that resembled clouds of icing. “I did, but we settled. All I got was money, there was no justice.”
I still remembered the sound of the paper sliding against that overly-lacquered table at the law office. I had wanted to throw the settlement offer back in my lawyer’s face, but Mom held me back. My lawyer had explained that Grandpa’s medical records would be made public if we went to trial. Mom gave me a pointed look and shook her head, so I clenched my teeth and picked up the pen.
My hands gripped my knees as I remembered that lawyer’s eyes lighting up like a fucking cash register as I signed my name on that settlement.
If that wasn’t the moment that solidified that I was just big game in a money-hunting world, then…
I closed my eyes, wishing I could cover my mouth with tape instead of admitting what was about to come out. Though if Olivia was hurt because of how I reacted to her pregnancy, I needed to tell her why I had done it. The last thing I had wanted to do was rip open that scabbed-over wound, but I would do it for my babies.
I pried my eyes from the ceiling and looked at Olivia. Shestared back at me, her eyes soft with fatigue but dry. Her face was splotchy and her shoulders were slumped forward. She was completely and utterly pathetic—harmless.
Yet I was still terrified.
With a silent gulp, I swallowed my cowardice. Though I couldn’t open the iron vault and let all my secrets out, I would let Olivia Adams have just one more.
“I was engaged once,” I said.
Her eyes dropped to the floor. “Oh.”
I ran a hand through my hair. “Her name was Katie. I met her freshman year at Lindsay and we were together all through college.” My tongue suddenly felt too heavy in my mouth, but I couldn’t stop talking. “Right before spring break of our senior year, she told me she was pregnant.”
Olivia’s eyes met mine. “The pregnancy wasn’t real, was it?”
Damn it, Olivia. Always smarter than me.
My eyes prickled with heat and I held up my hands before dropping them back into my lap. “I proposed as soon as I found out. I even took her to Paris so she could pick out a ring. I remember she would choose one and I’d keep telling her to get a bigger diamond.” A hollow laugh escaped my lips and I shrugged. “Most guys would have panicked but I was just…so excited to be a dad.”
I let out another shallow laugh. And I was an idiot, a fucking idiot.
Shaking my head, I met her eyes again. “I…didn’t take it well when I found out the truth.”
I held back the gory details of the explosive breakup—tossing a whole box of wedding invitations into the firepit, blinking away cold tears as I shut that nursery door for the last time, and spending years trolling clubs as I tried but failed to numb the pain and paranoia Katie fucking caused me.
“She never had a reason to lie,” I said. “She wanted mymoney, but I would have given her a glass jar full of stars if she had asked. All I wanted, all Ineededfrom her, was to trust her, and…”
