Page 95 of Bad Influence
I admire the sharp cut of his jaw; the way the sun makes streaks of gold appear in his dark hair. Killian is allowed to have his secrets just like anyone else. At the same time, do I need to be concerned? What if he’s secretly a sadist and I won’t know until later?
“I can hear you thinking,” Killian says. “If it makes you feel any better, it’s not something bad.” He pauses, frowning. “Well…”
“Well?Well, is not a good thing, Killian.”
“It really depends on how you look at it,” he says. “It can be a good or bad thing, depending on your perspective and how you feel about it.”
“Oh, good. That solves everything,” I say dryly.
“I don’t think it’s a bad thing,” he says.
“But it’s bad enough for someone to break up with you?”
“Yes.”
“Will I think it’s bad?” I ask. I realize I’m putting myself in the position of his romantic partner. And fuck it, what the hellare we doing if not leading to that? Why play around it? For the first time in my life, I don’t care what anyone is going to say or think.
“No,” Killian says.
I groan. “Are you trying to drive me crazy on purpose? How is it bad, but not bad?”
He’s saved from answering because the ferry docks and people are rushing to get to the exit. It’s like they’re afraid the ferry is going to leave for another trip with them still on it.
“Do you want to stay on for another trip?” Killian asks.
“No.” I pout, removing his hands from my body and making my way towards the lower deck.
“Caroline, wait,” Killian calls out.
I push my way through the crowd and rush to the lower deck before stepping off the ferry. Killian isn’t far behind me, his long legs making it easy to catch up to me.
“Caroline, wait,” he says, reaching for my hand. “Don’t be upset.”
I turn to look at him, pasting a fake smile on my face. “Why would I be upset?”
Cupping my face in his hands, he leans down until our noses practically brush. “You look so cute when you’re upset.”
“If that’s your way of making me feel better, it’s not working.”
His thumb rubs back and forth on my cheek. “I wasn’t trying to upset you, and I don’t want to hide anything from you. What I said is the truth. You won’t find it bad, but that doesn’t mean someone else will feel the same way.”
“That means you’ll tell me what it is?” I hedge.
Hesitation flickers behind his eyes. “Yes. Eventually. I’ll show it to you one day.”
I don’t know what’s so bad he has to keep it a secret, and I realize I have no choice other than to trust him.
“I can wait.”
His relief is immediate, and he kisses my forehead. Steppingback, he takes my hand in his and leads me down the sidewalk, back into the city. We stop for lunch at a pizza shop.
Afterwards, he takes me shopping and I realize it’s the first time I’m buying clothes without anyone’s input. I can buy clothes in the brightest colors without someone telling me I’m working in a law firm, and not a street corner.
We go back laden with bags and I’m bubbling with excitement of starting my new job even as nerves prickle at the back of my neck.
“It’s probably not a good idea to go on a spending spree before I’ve even gotten my first salary,” I say, as Killian unlocks the apartment door.
“Good thing you have a trust fund to rely on.”
