“Sometimes the risk is worth it. There’s no age for adventure and if not now, then when?”
“Thank you, for everything,” I say, swallowing the urge to cry. I’ve never been on my own before and I’m not sure how I’m going to adjust. Still, being alone is better than being lonely.
“You’re welcome, darling. Be sure to keep me updated on all your adventures. I want to live vicariously through you,” Gerry says.
I laugh and agree to give her frequent updates. When we hang up, I slide my phone back into my crossbody bag. Discreetly wiping at the tears brimming in my eyes, I walk forward and pick up my suitcase when it comes around again.
A man comes up next to me, hurriedly grabbing his own luggage. He knocks it against mine as he pulls it off the belt and walks away. I throw him a dirty look and turn around without looking, bumping into a woman who is holding a large, iced mocha with a lot of whip cream, which is now all over my thin pink tee since I took off my sweatshirt.
I gasp as the cold hits my body and slides down.
“Watch where you’re going!” The woman snaps. “Jesus. Now I’ll have to get another drink.”
Don’t cry, I will myself. You clearly made a mistake so there’s no need to cry.
“I’m so sorry, let me get you another drink,” I say.
She rolls her eyes. “Save it. I don’t have the time to deal with idiots today.”
She walks off and I stare after her, open mouthed. That was uncalled for. I need to get out of this airport before disaster strikes. I rush into the bathroom and clean up as much as I can, throwing my sweatshirt over the mess that is my tee.
I follow the direction heading towards the cabs and it takes me another forty minutes before I’m sitting in a cab and telling the address to the driver.
My nose is practically pressed to the window as we drive into the city. For the first time since I thought of this plan, I feel aspark of excitement run through me. Even in the cab, I feel the vibrancy of this city. There’s an energy in the air that isn’t at all like San Francisco.
“First time in New York?” The cab driver asks, looking at me in the rearview mirror.
“No,” I lie. “I’ve been here a few times. Visiting a friend.”
I’m a solo female traveler and I’m not about to reveal myself to be the naive girl that I am. There’s no one waiting for me, but I’m also not about to tell a strange man that I’m going to an empty apartment.
My heart remains in my throat the whole time. At least five times I thought we were going to get into an accident, once I thought he was going to hit a pedestrian crossing the road. The other cars on the road are driving so close I make eye contact with the passengers.
It’s just after five, so the streets are busier with end of day traffic. This is my favorite time of the day, especially in the summer. When the evening and the possibilities stretches far and wide. People are walking home from work or getting ready for dates. There’s a giddiness in the atmosphere.
I often wondered what I’d do if those possibilities were open to me. I’ve never had drinks with colleagues, I’ve never looked forward to a date. There were never any butterflies dancing in my stomach at the thought of a man.
Well, now, that’s not true.
Ssshh. My own thoughts are turning against me now.
But he’s here.
And I don’t care.
Why would I care? He doesn’t care in the least and neither should I. He fucking RSVP’d to my wedding to his brother like it meant nothing. The cancelled wedding won’t mean anything to him, whenever he finds out.
The cab driver drops me off in front of a building that looks like it used to be a warehouse. I’ve read up on the neighborhood and this area has a lot of industrial warehouses turned intoapartment buildings. Gerry mentioned that the apartment overlooks the East River.
My own apartment.
With the biggest grin on my face, I enter the code at the front door and enter the building, taking the elevator to my floor. There are only four apartments on the floor and Gerry’s--mine--is at the end. I half expect the key isn’t going to work and this whole thing is going to come crashing down around me, but when I insert the key and turn the lock, the door opens easily.
I step into the apartment and the first thing I notice are the floor to ceiling windows across the entrance which overlooks the East River. I abandon my luggage by the entrance and close the door before rushing across to the windows.
Wow.
The apartment is right on the East River, so when I look down I can see the ferries. The Brooklyn Bridge is right there. I let out a little squeal of excitement. Sure, I don’t exactly have a plan of what I’m going to do here. But for the first time in my life, I’m the only one who's going to make the decision on what to do next. It’s terrifying and exhilarating.