Page 63 of Bad Influence
“Jesus, Killian, stop doing that!” She scolds. “I feel like my heart is about to break out on my chest.”
“You should have better awareness of your surroundings,” I say, walking down the stairs and to the kitchen.
“You should have better awareness not to piss off a womanwho’s standing near sharp objects and has a known history of stabbing,” she snaps.
I can’t help it, I laugh. It sounds strange, even to my own ears. I’m not sure the last time I really laughed at anything. Caroline’s anger dissolves and she stares at me with a soft look on her face, a smile curving up her lips.
“I think the last time I heard you laugh was probably my high school graduation,” she says.
I sober at the realization. “It was probably around the time I realized I didn’t want to share my laughter with people who clearly never appreciated it.”
“You could have told me that,” she says. “It would’ve saved me a lot of heartache.”
“I asked you to come with me,” I say.
She brushes back her hair, tilting her head back to meet my eyes. “I was twenty-two, Killian. I’m sorry if I didn’t want to run away with you when you had no plan of where you were going and I was still optimistic enough to think that if I did what my parents wanted, it would mean that they’d love me.”
Turning away from me, she pours milk into a pan and puts it on the stove. She’s changed from her robe into a sleeveless, cotton night dress which falls all the way to her ankles. It has lace along the high collar and down the placket of buttons. It might be cute and matronly if she’d buttoned it.
As it is, the buttons are open down her chest. Standing as she is in profile, I can see the creamy curve of one pale breast peeking through the gap. I suddenly feel like a teenager discovering breasts for the first time.
She’s trying to drive me crazy and I don’t think she even realizes it. She’s wearing clothes she’s comfortable in, and that effortlessness is infinitely sexy. She’s already fucking lethal when she’s deliberately trying to be sexy.
“What if I were to ask now?” I say, taking a step forward.
Caroline looks at me, a dip appearing between her brows. “What do you mean?”
I take another step forward until I have cornered against the counter. Reaching out, I turn off the stove so the milk doesn’t boil and spill.
“I was going to dri—” She breaks off mid-sentence when I lean forward and place my hands on the counter, on either side of her hips, close enough I can feel the soft cotton of her nightdress. I breathe in her scent, something earthy and floral.
There’s no fear in her eyes when she tilts her head back to look at me.
“What would you have done if I’d shown up at your wedding and asked you to run away with me? Would you do it? Would you stand with me against everyone?”
She doesn’t reply right away. I don’t know why I’m interested in her answer, or why I’m disappointed she doesn’t reply right away. Caroline had twenty-seven years of conditioning, ideas and values which have been fed to her again and again until she started to believe if she just did as they asked, she’d be valued. It’s the greatest manipulation trick in the book.
Breathing out, I release the countertop and start to step back when Caroline surprises me by hooking a finger into the silver chain around my neck and jerking me forward.
I brace my hands back on the counter so I don’t fall right into her. Caroline arches onto her toes until she’s close to me, our lips hovering inches from each other. There’s a fire in her eyes which wants to burn me, and I want to let it.
“Yes,” she breathes. “Unequivocally, yes. If I never left home and you showed up at my wedding and asked me to leave, I would’ve said yes.” She laughs lightly. “Maybe I would’ve run away before you even had the chance to ask.”
Our lips are close, our breaths mingling, chests rising and falling in the same rhythm. Each time we inhale, our chests brush against each other in the lightest touch.
“Are you sure?” I ask. It seems easy to say, but would she have been able to do it?
So softly that I barely feel it, her bottom lip brushes againstmine. The soft touch sends a spark through me, my hands tightening around the counter. Her nightdress rustles as she moves.
“I was sure a long time ago,” she whispers. “I just couldn’t let go of my fear.”
“What makes you think you would have been able to do it now?”
Her lashes flutter as she blinks in thought. “There comes a time in everyone’s life when they have to make a decision. You can be brave enough to risk it all or choose to live in fear. Maybe I can’t guarantee what I would have done in a hypothetical past. All I know is nothing would have changed the way I feel.”
At the risk of losing my sanity, I close the distance between us until our bodies are flush together. Caroline gasps, her hands settling on my bare chest. There’s no place to escape, for either of us.
“And how do you feel?” I ask in a low voice.
