Page 44 of Bad Influence
All I want is to preserve that small spark of hope and optimism still left in her. It might not be my responsibility and she certainly hasn’t asked me to do it. I’m still going to. Caroline is as brilliant as the first ray of the sun after weeks of nothing but clouds. I want to protect her sunshine, even from myself.
“It’s getting late, we should go.” I stand up.
Eve turns to look at me. “But it’s so early!”
“It’s almost two in the morning,” Lilith says, amused at her wife.
“I’m not tired,” Eve protests.
“I can take care of that,” Lilith replies, smirking.
“Let us get out of the apartment first,” I say, walking to Caroline.
She doesn’t look at me. Instead, she sets the glasses she’s holding by the sink and turns to Eve, opening her arms for a hug. Eve is a little shorter and removed her heels, so when she hugs Caroline, her face rests right on her breasts. They hug like long lost sisters.
Lilith gives me an amused look and pulls Eve away. “Okay, she’s only going upstairs. You can play with her tomorrow.”
Eve looks at her, smiling softly, resting her head on Lilith’s shoulder. “I love you.”
And Lilith, the calmest person I know, who’s always stoic and sensible, actually blushes.
I wish them good night, leading Caroline out of the apartment and leaving the amorous couple alone. Caroline walks ahead of me to the elevator, her steps unsteady. I fist my hands to stop myself from reaching out for her.
She stands in a corner of the elevator, playing with her wrap and still pretending I don’t exist. I might as well be her friendly ghost.
“Caroline,” I say, once we’re in the apartment.
“I’m going to my room, where you obviously prefer me.”
I follow her to her room, watching as she lifts her legs to remove her sandals. She tosses them on the floor on her way to the dresser. With a sigh, I pick them up and set them aside so she doesn’t trip over them later.
“I never said I prefer you in your room,” I explain.
She throws me a nasty look over her shoulder as she pulls out something pink and silk from the top dresser drawer. “Ask me how much I care what you really meant.”
She doesn’t wait for me to reply. Instead, she walks into the bathroom and I stand outside, listening as the shower turns on.
While she showers, I go up to my room and grab the bottle of Advil. She seems only a little tipsy. Still, she’ll appreciate not having a hangover tomorrow. Then I sit on the couch and wait. She always takes the longest showers.
I’m almost asleep when the shower shuts off. The door opens and Caroline steps out. I haven’t bothered turning on any lights and Caroline can’t see me from where I’m sitting under the shadow of the stairs, but I see her.
My breath catches in my throat and I almost wish I’d gone upstairs. The selfish, obsessive, jealous part of me whispers if Ihad, I would have missed seeing her like this. Fresh from her shower, looking soft and welcoming, dressed in tiny silk shorts and a top that barely qualifies as one. This is what she sleeps in? In my apartment? Directly below my room?
Maybe it’s a good thing that we stick to our respective rooms after dinner.
Barefoot, she pads to the kitchen and sees the Advil and glass of water I left there for her. A smile takes over her face at the sight and she starts to reach for it. As if remembering she’s angry at me, she pulls her hand back.
“You don’t have to punish yourself to punish me,” I say softly.
She whirls around, her hand going to her chest, resting over her heart. Her eyes land on me.
“Jesus, fuck, Killian. Are you trying to kill me?”
“I’m trying to save you from a hangover,” I say.
I don’t want to move from my spot, it won’t be a good decision. But I want to make sure Caroline takes the painkiller and hydrates before bed. As I walk towards her, I remind myself that what she’s wearing is still better than seeing her in a towel. If I can survive that, I can survive this.
“I don’t need your charity or your care,” she snaps.
