Page 38 of Bad Influence
I look away from the mirror and towards my room door. I open it and find Killian on the other side, dressed in his usual black. He’s pushed his hair back, but strands of it are falling forward on his forehead. His eyes slowly trek over my body and my grip tightens on the door, just waiting for him to say it’s inappropriate.
“Is that what you’re wearing?” He asks with a frown.
“Yes,” I say, already defensive.
With a hum, he nods. “Take a sweater or a wrap. You might feel cold.”
Oh.
I see.
Is it crazy to say his concern is shocking? Because when was the last time someone was concerned for me rather than concerned about how my actions or what I wear might reflect on them?
“I don’t think I will,” I say. “And if I do, we literally live three floors above.”
Killian gives me an exasperated look. I think he’s starting to understand that I argue with him just because it’s fun to frustrate him.
“Or you can take it with you and save yourself the trip up,” he says.
“Or I can just borrow something from Eve or Lilith,” I suggest.
With a sigh, he steps back. “You always have to do it your way.”
I laugh because once again, he has no idea how wrong he is.Just the small fact that he sees me as a person, and not an object which adds to his value, is why I’m never afraid to speak my mind to him. No one else is going to listen or even care what I want. He doesn’t have to, either, and I’m sure he’s only humoring me until I leave.
He has no idea how much his respect for my autonomy means to me.
Closing the door, I quickly pull the rollers out and fluff up my hair so it falls exactly how I want to. A quick spray of perfume and I’m ready to go. I step out of my room and find Killian still there, leaning against the island with his phone in his hand.
Behind him, through the windows, the Manhattan bridge is lit up, the water across the East River is still, and across it, Manhattan is slowly awakening for the night like a nocturnal beast.
I’m once again floored that this is my life, however temporarily. Gone are the beaches and California sunrises, the steady, quiet rhythm of life.
“Ready?” Killian looks up from his phone. His eyes drop briefly to the wrap in my hands and even though he doesn’t smile, I know he wants to. I can sense it.
“You’re coming to?” I ask, a little surprised.
“Yeah.” Moving to the door, he grabs his keys from the key bowl and leads us out of the apartment.
“But you said no,” I remind him.
“I changed my mind,” he says.
He locks the door and we walk together to the elevator.
“What made you change your mind?” I look up at him. In my heels, I don’t have to look up that much.
Killian looks at me slowly, blinking once, his eyes a dark blue under the low lights of the elevator. “Just needed a change.”
I nod, humming my acceptance, even as I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling. He’s so cute when he pretends he’s not doing things because of me. What exactly is heprotecting me from? Does he really think I’m so innocent and naive I can’t handle a single party?
As the elevator door opens on the fifth floor and the sound of music hits me, I think maybe he’s right. Maybe I can’t handle a party. Adrenaline makes my blood course faster, my heart pounding in my chest.
“I don’t know how to be…” I wave my hand towards the door, turning panicked eyes to him.
Killian’s eyes soften and I hate that look even though I’m revealing my vulnerabilities to him. “Just be yourself.”
“I don’t know who I am,” I say quietly.
