Page 27 of Bad Influence
“And you don’t want to go back home?”
We’ve come full circle, and I can see the glee in his eyes for talking me back to his point.
“Why don’t you go back, Killian?” My reply is sugar sweet, and I can see it hit with the way his gaze narrows immediately.
“I’m persona non grata,” he says. “No one wants me there.”
“No one wants me there, either,” I say, honestly. They need me there to protect their precious reputations, but my presence is nothing more than an annoyance they have to put up with.
“You’re the bride,” Killian says.
I look away because I don’t want to answer or play this game anymore. The server comes back with our beers and dinner. I pick up my beer and take a sip, making a face as the taste hits my tongue.
“Another first?” Killian asks.
I look back at him and offer a small nod.
“Here’s to many more firsts, then.” He clinks his glass against mine and we both take a sip. This time, the beer goes down smoother and I can taste the earthy sweetness.
“You can stay here however long you need or want,” Killian says.
I pause in the middle of pouring ketchup on the side of my plate. There’s a sharpness to his acquiescence that I can’t figure out. He’s happy to let me stay, but there’s a weight behind itthat’s probably caused by the years of rift between him and his family. I’m just another part of it.
“Are you sure?”
He looks at me, holding my eyes for a long moment. Long enough that I want to look away because I’m worried he can see all the things I hide from myself. Long enough that I remember birthdays and graduations, parties where I hid in a corner and always hoped that no one would find me, and he always did. Long enough that I remember the night everything changed, and I think so does he.
“I was always sure,” he says finally, dropping his gaze.
I pick up my burger and bite into it because I have nothing to say to him. There are a lot of things I wish I could say; tell him everything. I’ve never been sure how to say exactly what I feel.
“Thank you for letting me stay,” I say instead. “I’ll try not to impose too much.”
Outside, evening darkens to night. Inside, the restaurant grows more crowded. It’s nice. For once, I don’t feel out of place.
“Why did you choose New York of all places?” I ask.
Killian shrugs, looking around the restaurant. “I don’t know. It felt like the farthest place I could get to without leaving the country.”
“But you did leave the country,” I recall. He lived in Amsterdam for two and a half years when he left California.
Killian looks surprised that I know that. “Gran told you?”
I nod. There’s no one else who would have. When Killian left, he completely cut himself off from his family. Rather, if Killian left, Mr. York told him he wouldn’t be welcome back in the family.
“Did she also tell you she emotionally blackmailed me to come back?”
“Really?” I laugh.
Killian gives a brief nod. “She was worried she’s going to die, and I’d be halfway across the world. She wouldn’t be able to see her oldest grandchild.”
“That sounds like her,” I agree with a laugh.
“She’s very good at manipulation,” Killian says.
I can’t deny that. She gently coerced me into coming here, knowing Killian was living in the apartment.
“Did she give you the apartment?” I ask.
