Page 76 of Bad Influence
“If you ever need someone to explain hockey to you, I’m your girl,” she says.
“I listen to your podcast and I love your attempts at explaining hockey to your best friend,” I say.
Lavinia laughs, her green eyes crinkling at the corners. “Jules hates it when I do that.”
As we continue to talk, I glance occasionally at Killian. He’s sitting with the team, but he’s not providing a lot conversationally. Which doesn’t surprise me in the least. This man was at a party and he looked like he had been forced there against his will, and he has the same look on his face now. I still can’t believe he’s putting himself through this just for me.
Maybe it’s not even a big deal. Maybe it’s just what people do. And it’s only a big deal to me because I’ve never had someone be selfless with me. I’m the only one who’s ever been expected to do what others want. To put their comfort, wants, and needs above mine. I’ve sat through countless dinner partieswithout having anyone to talk to because it’s what my parents expected and it’s what Beckett wanted.
Someone thinking of my likes and dislikes is a strange concept.
“How long have you two been together?” Lavinia asks.
My head whips around to look at her, my eyes widen in shock. “I beg your pardon?”
Her eyes move between me and Killian. “You and Killian. I assume you’re together.”
At the horror stricken look on my face her cheeks turn red with embarrassment.
“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything,” she says in a rush.
Leaning and close to her, I whisper, “You can tell? Am I being obvious? We’re not together, but can you tell that I want something more?”
“I mean, the two of you keep glancing at each other when neither of you is looking so I guess he feels the same way?” Lavinia says.
I look at him, and when I do, he’s looking right at me. Our eyes hold across the crowded room for a long moment and it’s like everyone disappears. How does he have the power to ground me and make me feel like I’m flying? When he looks at me like that, I feel like I’m the only woman in the world.
Lavinia’s words circle in my mind when I’m out running with Lilith the next morning. Running is not my exercise of choice but I was feeling restless inside the apartment. Killian woke up early to paint because I could hear music from the studio.
I know there’s something between us. The fact that other people can tell makes it that much more valid. With that validity comes fear. Because I was engaged to his brother, who likelywants to sue me now. I don’t want to drag Killian into that mess any more than I already have just by being here.
I stop running as we get to the boardwalk of Brooklyn Bridge Park and Lilith stops beside me, leading me to the bench.
“When you and Eve got together, was it easy?” I ask, breathing hard.
“When I first met Eve, I was in a bad marriage to a good man,” Lilith says for a laugh. “It definitely wasn’t easy. I always knew my sexuality. It just took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I wasn’t going to be married to the person I thought of spending my whole life with. He was my high school sweetheart.”
“Are you still in touch with him?” I ask softly.
“Yeah, he’s married now. Some loves don’t last, but they do change.” She glances at me, a knowing look in her eyes. “You and Killian don’t have to make it difficult.”
I groan, pinching the bridge of my nose. “I was engaged to his brother, that already makes it difficult. If our families find out, all hell will break loose. And I’m not saying that to be facetious. I’m pretty sure our mothers will find a way to get in touch with the literal devil.”
That makes Lilith laugh, but she has no idea that I’m not kidding. Maybe your mothers won’t find the devil, but they will do everything in their power to try to break us up.
“Our parents think that Beckett hung the moon, and I’m some kind of price he’s won,” I say bitterly.
Lilith’s face twists with disgust. “No offense, but they sound like they need therapy.”
“And a lot of it,” I agree.
“Eve and I will be going to my parents place in the Catskills soon. You’ll basically be alone with Killian,” Lilith says.
“I’m sure Killian will find a thousand ways to not make it happen,” I say.
Lilith brushes back her short hair. “Then maybeyouneed to make sure that it does happen.”
Unbidden, Beckett’s words from that day enter my mind.
