Page 117 of Bad Influence
Lilith
Babe, I’m pretty sure you know more about designer dresses that Eve and me combined.
Caroline
This is what I’m used to wearing.
I send a picture I took last year of me in a pale pink dress, which is admittedly beautiful, and also bland. I look completely nondescript and I want to stand out for Killian. More than that, I want to match his vibe.
Eve
You look cute.
Caroline
Exactly. I don’t want to look cute. I want to match Killian’s vibe.
Lilith
Okay, I’ve got you. I have a designer friend and they can help. Eve and I will meet you at the train stop tonight.
After confirming the time with them, I put my phone aside and grab a quick lunch before getting back to work. The celebrity divorce has gotten more interesting because our client is now being accused of cheating by the ex.
I climb up the steps of the subway station and find Eve and Lilith waiting. Lilith is wearing loose jeans and a white t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. Eve is wearing a loose black romper paired with a white tank top, her tattooed arms bare.
I have the thin sleeve of my blouse rolled up to show off my tattoo which is healing beautifully. I still feel some soreness and Killian told me that’s expected. It can sometimes take months for a tattoo to heal.
I’m not yet sure if I have to keep it covered up at work, so I’m sticking to long sleeved blouses which are appropriate for the humid New York summer.
“Hi, thank you so much for doing this,” I say, walking up to them.
“Don’t worry about it,” Lilith says. “Eve never misses an opportunity to buy clothes she’s never going to wear.”
“Those same clothes came in handy when your mother dropped by for an impromptu visit,” Eve says.
Lilith smiles at her, the two of them holding hands as we start walking.
“How’s work?” Lilith asks.
“Amazing! I love every second of it, and Aiden is brilliant,” I say.
“I can’t believe you love being a lawyer,” Eve says with a laugh. “Killian and I bonded over how much we hate lawyers.”
“A lot of people hate lawyers, but I always knew I wanted to be the kind who helps people, which was not something I ever wanted to mention to my parents. For them, being a lawyer meant sitting in your corner office and handling prestigious clients. Anyway, enough about them. How was your trip to the Catskills?”
“Lilith’s mom got sick,” Eve says.
Lilith sighs, and they launch into how their trip started off as a nightmare because of Lilith’s mother’s sickness. Apparently, she’s very particular about a lot of things. The more she talks, the more I think her mother is just like mine.
Since last week, I’ve had this strange urge to call them and explain myself. I know I don’t need to and anything I say, they’re not going to care for it. I want to get rid of this sick, twisty feeling in my stomach every time I think about them.
I don’t understand this guilt. I’m not a priority for them, and neither were my feelings. And still I can’t let go of this guilt. It gnaws at me, popping up its ugly head when I least expect it. I don’t know how long I can live with this anxiety.
“Here we are,” Lilith says, pulling me out of my thoughts.
I completely zoned out, and now we’re standing in front of an industrial building that’s been turned into apartments. Lilith buzzes the intercom and we’re let in, going up to the fourth floor.
A tall person in overalls and a mullet opens the door, smiling at Eve and Lilith.
