Page 27 of Reckless
I stilled.“You think he’ll text me?”
“I think men like Xerses always think the conversation isn’t over when they still want control of the ending.”
That was such a Britney sentence I almost smiled but I looked back.
“You are not behind,” she said.“And you are not some sad woman waiting for a man to notice you.Do you understand me?”
My throat tightened so fast it hurt.I swallowed then nodded.
She didn’t look convinced.“Say it back.”
I almost told her to leave, but instead I said, “I’m not behind.”
“And?”
“I’m not a sad woman waiting to be noticed.”
Her mouth softened.“Good.”
I got in the car before she could hug me.
That would have been the end of me.
The drive home blurred.
Not literally.I wasn’t that far gone.But the roads came and went under me without much sticking.Little slices of Virgin Cove.Quiet streets.The bridge.Water black on both sides.Then the small cluster of roads near my apartment, where everything felt less curated and more human.
My place was on the second floor of a modest building three streets back from the water.Not glamorous.Not tragic either.Just real.Rentable.Mine.The sort of place that smelled like coffee and laundry soap and a little too much life compressed into a few rooms.
By the time I got upstairs, my feet hurt, my head hurt, and my body still had not forgiven me for standing that close to Xerses Norouzi.
I kicked off the rest of my clothes, changed into one of my oldest T-shirts, scrubbed my face, and stood in the bathroom for a full thirty seconds staring at myself in the mirror like maybe a different woman would be in there if I looked long enough.
But it was my mouth, my lips and my gut that twisted with the same awareness low in my body that every time Xerses looked at me like he wanted to peel off one layer of me and see what happened next.
I hated this.
One sentence from the right man could make me feel both wanted and trapped.that I was old enough to know better and still not too old to react like my hormones had staged a coup.
My phone buzzed on the bathroom counter.
I looked at it.
Xerses: We need to talk tomorrow.
My first, immediate, completely honest reaction was to throw the phone into the sink.
Instead I stared at the text until another bubble appeared.
Xerses: And before you say no, this affects both of us.
“Oh, wow,” I muttered to my empty bathroom.“Good thing you noticed.”
I typed back before I could think too hard.
Me: You don’t get to tell me what affects me.
Three dots then nothing.I let out a laugh so sharp it startled even me.
