Page 140 of Reckless
I spent the rest of the morning moving too fast and calling it clarity.
By eleven, I had spoken to the foundation.By noon, I had the zoning summary.By one, I had land use projections and a restoration architect digging up preliminary concepts for what the old zoo site could become if done properly.
Not gaudy.This projected needed to be thoughtful, educational, beautiful and community-centered.She was a teacher and now a real estate.
She’d have a place for the town, a place for kids, and place Kelly would love because it would still be itself, only saved.
That was what I told myself.
And because I was still stupid enough at that point to believe intention could erase impact, I felt more certain with every document added to the folder.
By late afternoon, it looked perfect, cream stock, clean renderings and no flashy branding and no family name stamped on the front.
Love in the only form I knew how to make visible when words felt too naked to trust on their own.
I booked a private room at the restaurant by the harbor because I wanted quiet.Because I wanted to hand it to her and watch her understand.Because I wanted to see that look come over her face, the one where something in her softens because she realizes she has been heard with the kind of seriousness she deserves.
I wanted to see joy.
Which meant when it all went wrong, I had no defense left.
She arrived six minutes late and looked beautiful enough to make the whole room irrelevant.
Black dress.Hair down.Bare throat.That mouth.
For one stupid second, seeing her come through the door almost made me scrap the whole thing and have dinner like a normal man who had spent the weekend falling more deeply into love.
Almost.
Or it was exactly that.
Then she smiled at me and the whole brutal certainty came rushing back.
Future.Real.Show her.
I stood when she reached the table.
"You're late."
She looked at me, smiling already."I'm six minutes late.Parking took longer than expected."
I should have kissed her right then.Instead I said, "Sit down."
And that was maybe the first tiny crack in the night.
She sat.
We had wine, ordered and talked.She was amazing.
She laughed at me and her smile lit up the room, and she even stole a piece of bread off my plate.
"That's mine," I said.
"It's sharing," she said."Besides you have too much food."
"You have the same amount of food."
"Yes, but yours looked better to be honest."
