Page 28 of Wicked Deceptions
That evening, we had our holiday feast, with crackers that look like French bonbons but crack when you open them. Once they were open, a surprise trinket was exposed. We never had anything like them for our Christmas holiday celebrations. We also wore paper crowns and ate mince pies and figgy pudding. It was all very traditional and so overwhelming. I absolutely loved every minute of it.
During the Christmas celebration, sadness washed over me. It all seemed too good to be true, and I knew in my heart, it is all going to end. I made the mistake to fall in love once, and it ended with my heart broken into a million pieces and me being alone in a world I hated. I’m not in love with Ben, but a life with him could be a happy one and provide me some freedom from my fate. No. It can never be. This is the life I have chosen for myself, and this is the life I must live.
Ben and I spent Boxing Day and the days that followed walking the grounds, while his family and the staff prepared for the pheasant shooting for New Year’s Day. Apparently, the New Year’s Day shooting is a family tradition, and several families from the county come to partake in the festivities. Many spend several days as guests of the earl and stay at the house. The staff has been quite busy getting all the rooms prepared.
“So how does this work?” I ask Ben at breakfast. The shoot starts today, and I am most curious and excited to experience my first shooting.
“Well, each shooter has two rifles and a man who serves as his loader, so a rifle is always ready to shoot.”
“So no ladies?”
“Oh no, of course the ladies are welcome to join in. In fact, it’s encouraged. They walk with the shooter and serve as moral support.” He chuckles. “You will spend the first part of the morning with my father, at his request.” He winks at me and then continues. “And the latter with me.”
“His request?”
“Yes, I believe he wants to get to know you. I told him I intend to ask you something very important tonight, and well, I thought it is only fitting you spend some time with him.”
“Oh great, so now I’m bloody nervous.” I have to be on my best behavior with the earl. He is not only an earl but also the British Minister of War. It all makes sense to me now, and I fully understand why I am here. This family is connected to the war effort and any information I can acquire will be a huge feather in my cap.
“Oh, darling Katie, don’t be nervous. My father is a gentle soul. He just wants to get to know the woman who has stolen his son’s heart.”
I can’t help but smile at his words. He really is a special person. Thoughts of doubt begin to fill my head again.What if something bad happens to Ben?I will never forgive myself if, in the end, Ben becomes the sacrifice. I’ve lost so much. I can’t help that I feel for the people I encounter. All I want is a piece of happiness of my own. But every time, I lose, and someone else pays the ultimate price.How much longer can I do this?I shake these horrible thoughts away and admonish myself,Stop this, Katie. You know what needs to be done and how to do it. Focus.
Spending the early part of the morning with the earl was a treat indeed. Ben was right; he really is a gentle soul. I never knew he held so many positions that involved the war and parliament. He even told me he organized the most successful recruitment campaigns to the Kitchener’s Army in Liverpool. In just over two days, fifteen hundred residents of Liverpool joined the new battalion. He was very proud of this accomplishment and said it was more of a battalion of friends fighting shoulder to shoulder for the honor of Britain. He continued on to say he was very proud of Ben and his accomplishments in the war effort.
He then proceeded to tell me Ben was single-handedly responsible for having a listening station installed in Liverpool. This station serves as an early warning post for when the Zeppelins approach. It allows the British to know the bombers are coming and in turn helps them to be better prepared.Interesting. So that is what Ben was talking about on the drive here.
The shooters take a break, and now it is time to switch the ladies out to spend time with different shooters. I get to spend the rest of the morning with Ben.
As we walk the grounds, I say, “Your father is very proud of you.”
He looks over at me, worried. “Please tell me he didn’t boast about me the whole time you were with him.”
I giggle. “Maybe just a little, but rightly so. A father should be proud of his son and his accomplishments.”
“I guess, but sometimes he goes on and on, and it gets embarrassing.”
“Don’t be embarrassed, Ben. Be thankful you have a father and that he loves you.”
“Oh, Katie, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think. I know it is easy to take them for granted, that they will always be there. How insensitive of me.”
I walk toward him and hug him. “You are not being insensitive. I’m just reminding you to enjoy him while you can. Life is so short, Ben, and we can lose everything we hold dear in a blink of an eye. Cherish your family.”
“Thank you for reminding me of that. I will.” He takes his rifle and shoots up at the sky. Ben is an excellent shot, and I think—or perhaps I may have lost count—he has shot five pheasants. I’m quite impressed.
After the shoot, we all sit—outside, mind you—for a wonderful luncheon. At every meal I have never gotten the opportunity to sit next to Ben, as it seems the custom is to be seated next to a member of the opposite sex whom you do not know. It is a good thing I am not shy and can converse easily with strangers. If not, this custom would be most uncomfortable. It has allowed me to meet several interesting people over the course of my time at Knowsley Hall, and I have made sure to write about each and every one of them in my journal.
Afterward, we all disperse and return to our motorcars, making our way back toward the main house. When we arrive at the main entrance, there is a young soldier standing by the front door, accompanied by Branson. Ben looks uncomfortable and I have a feeling said soldier is here to see him, and I would bet it is not good news.
We make our way out of the car and proceed toward the door. The soldier, who I can now see is a corporal, approaches Ben and says, “Lieutenant Stanley, forgive the intrusion, sir. I must speak with you. It’s urgent.” He looks over at me and says, “And confidential.”
“Of course.” He turns toward me. “Katie, love, will you excuse me for a minute?”
I nod. He turns to step away, and the corporal follows him.
I wonder what that is all about. I hope something bad didn’t happen.
I walk into the house and follow the family and their guests to the drawing room. After several minutes, Ben returns, looking very worried. He walks to me and says, “Can I have a minute?”
