Page 28 of Sainte
He continues. “I don’t know what the fuck is going on with you, but it stops now. I’m sick and tired of this damn pity party game you’re playing. You are not the only one who lost someone. We all loved Hawk. We all miss him, but we have to move on.”
She starts to cry. That’s the thing about coke. Ten to fifteen minutes and the high is gone. Unfortunately for her, the waterworks aren’t gonna save her this time. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Ice this mad.
“I know about the cocaine, and it stops now.” She looks at me accusingly.
I interrupt, holding my hands up in defense. “He knew, darlin’. I didn’t tell him shit.”
Ice nods. “Yes, I knew. I should have done something when I first realized it, but I honestly thought you would be able to get through it on your own. I enabled you, and that was a mistake, but I’m done. No more making things easy for you, Honey.” He gets up and walks toward her.
She looks up at him.
Towering over her, he says, “I will only say this once, so you better listen good. If you can’t abide by our rules, which includes the drugs, then pack your shit and get out! I will not tolerate your insolence again. You got it?”
“But, Ice—”
“It’s a simple answer, Honey, yes or no.”
“Yes,” she replies meekly.
“Now get the fuck out of my office!”
She runs out, and he turns toward me. “She doesn’t leave your sight. If that means you bunk with her at night, then so be it. You have just become her shadow.”
“Got it,” I say as move toward the door. I pause. “Ice, I’m sorry, man. I thought I had disposed of her stash. She must have had some hidden, and it’s my fault I didn’t search her room.”
He doesn’t say a word, just nods. I walk out the door.
Chapter 10
Honey
You stupid bitch! What the hell is wrong with you?I walk out of Ice’s office, and they’re all staring. I have to get out of here. I just got the worst emotional beating I have ever gotten from him. I can’t take it and run straight to my room. I just can’t face them. And fucking Sainte? I know he told.Why won’t he just go away?There is no way Ice would have known I was using. I was careful. I’ve been so good at hiding it.Obviously not. That last little outburst of yours pretty much clinched it.
I can’t stop crying. Just one more hit, and everything will be okay. What did I do with that bag? I look around the room, and for the life of me, I can’t remember where I left it. Oh, wait. It’s down at the bar, behind Ice’s stash of Maker’s Mark.Fuck, fuck, fuck.How am I going to get it now? I can’t go down there and face everyone. Not after what I just did.
I rummage through my purse, hoping against all hope that some may have spilled into my purse. I dump everything on the bed and frantically inspect its contents. Nothing. Fuck. Just then, my door flies open.
I run to him and start punching his chest. “You fucking asshole, Sainte. You told Ice! I know you did!”
“I did not. I told you; he already knew.” He reaches for my wrists and holds them in place.
“Don’t give me that bullshit. You both are out to get me! Everyone is.”
“That’s the farthest thing from the truth, darlin’. It’s called tough love.”
“That is a lie! Now that Hawk is gone, I have nobody to protect me. He always protected me. He was always there for me.” I wipe tears from my eyes. “You all want me gone!” I struggle to get free of his grasp. He’s too strong.
He pulls me in close. “Honey, it’s the coke talking. Stop and think about what you are saying. Nobody wants you gone. This club loves you.”
Deep down, I know he’s right. I just can’t help this feeling that I don’t belong here anymore. First Emma comes and takes my place at Ice’s side, then Hawk fucking dies. I feel as if everyone is against me and blames me for Hawk.
I stop a moment.But I love this club.There is no other place I would rather be. I stop struggling, tears streaming down my face. Once I’m calm, I look up at him.
“How could you?”
“Baby, I didn’t.” He caresses my cheek. “He is the one who alerted me. He’s the one who asked me to keep an eye on you.” He bends down and looks me straight in the eye. “Can’t you see? He fuckin’ cares about you and doesn’t want to see you kill yourself. The coke is destroying you, baby.” He releases his hold on me.
I walk to the bed and sit. My shoulders slump. He walks toward me and sits on the bed next to me.
