Page 2 of Loving the Enemy
“He was a sadistic son of a bitch, Zaira. He physically and emotionally abused you and Mia. How can you stand there and defend him when you know—you remember—exactly what he was like?”
“Because he never lied to me,” she says, and I realize I’m losing this fight. I can continue to fight back, but it’ll get us nowhere. Her mind is made up. “Just let me go, Michael. Accept that we’re just not meant to be. Give me the divorce so we can put this all behind us.”
Devastated by the finality of her words, I realize I will not ever get through to her. Nothing will make her see the truth, and so, defeated, I say the only thing I can. “You’re free to go, Zaira. You can have your divorce. I won’t contest it.” I text Ricco to tell him to unlock the door.
As much as I want her to stay, I can’t force her. I want her to want to be here. I want her to love me of her own free will. I want her to know without any doubts that I’m not the monster she thinks I am.
I love her.
And the right thing to do now is to let her go.
“Michael,” she says, surprised. I don’t think she ever expected me to give in. She stands there staring at me but doesn’t say any more. Finally she turns to leave, and my heart begins a slow process of shattering as I watch her walk out of my life.
“Zaira,” I call after her in a last attempt to get her to see me for the man I am.
She stops walking but doesn’t turn.
“Soon you will realize I’m not your enemy.” I pause. “Yes, I’m the man who lied to you, but I’m also the man who loves you beyond all reason. I’m the man who will lay down his own life for you. I’m the man who killed for you.”
She doesn’t move. She is still facing the door, and I can hear her sobbing.
“And there’s something else I want you to remember. I’d do it all again if it meant you were safe and protected.”
She wipes her eyes, stands up straight, takes a deep breath, and continues to walk proudly toward the door. When she reaches it, she touches the knob and hesitates.
Is she coming back?I ask myself. Suddenly I’m hopeful as I wait patiently for her to make her move. But all hope is shattered when she turns the knob, walks through the door, and closes it behind her.
Chapter 1
Zaira
It’s been two weeks. That’s fourteen days or 336 hours or more minutes than I care to consider since I walked out of Michael’s life. We’re still married. Apparently, in the State of New York, you have to go through what they call a separation without cohabitation. I tried for an annulment, but even though my amnesia would have been acceptable as a state of duress, with Michael’s connections and power in this state, it would never happen. So we have to remain married but live separate for a year. Vince reluctantly filed the agreement with the Suffolk County Clerk of Court last week, so now we wait. When the year is up, the state will concede I have grounds for divorce. Apparently the fact that Michael murdered my father isn’t grounds for a divorce in this state.
I guess it’s all said and done on paper, but somehow my heart doesn’t seem to get it. It doesn’t understand how everything got so bad. I try to rationalize that it all began with a murder and a lie. My brain gets it and accepts it. However, my heart is still struggling.
I know I was the one who left, but he let me go. In a fit of anger and rage—not to mention feeling totally lied to—I told him I wanted out. I was suffocating and had to get away. He tried to get me to stay. He tried to get me to see reason. He even tried to explain, but I didn’t want to hear it. I was done. He put up a fight, but in the end, he let me go. I was adamant on leaving, and I really didn’t give him any other choice. Isn’t that the truest test of love? He loved me enough to let me go. He put my needs before his own.
My heart hurts.
I’m back in my family home now. All my things have been moved out of Michael’s home, and all my memories have returned. Once they broke through, it was like a damn breaking loose. Michael was right. My father was a sadistic son of a bitch, and yes, he abused and used both my sister and me. But he was still my father, and even though he was all that, some part of me still loved him. And Michael murdered him.
Vince confirmed my father ordered the hit on my mother. At least I know Michael didn’t lie about that. Vince also confirmed he ordered the hit on my father. When I asked him why he’d had our father killed, he claimed he did it for me. He said he was so tired of his abuse toward us. He wanted us all to get out from under him and be happy. He wanted us to live our lives however we chose. His heart was in the right place, but he never considered the consequences of his actions. And he never consulted either Mia or me.
I feel so lost.
The two men I have loved and trusted the most my entire life have betrayed me.
How do I get past this?
Mia has even tried to make me see that everything was done in the best of interests. She forgives Vince. She tells me he was only protecting us.
I think about what my life would have been like married to Victor. I begged Vince to do something about it, and he did. I think back to the state of mind I was in then, and I realize I would have agreed with Vince’s decision. But now… now that it is done and we can’t go back and change it, I feel differently. I feel responsible for my father’s death.
Maybe I just need to get away from all of them.
Leaving my room, which is where I have mostly stayed since I got back, I decide to find my brother. I’m taking a vacation.
I run into Mia when I get close to the stairway.
