Page 4 of Celtic Dragon
“Oh,” she says, and I can hear the disappointment in her voice. “And what about me? Can I go too?” she asks.
“Babe, no. You’re staying here and taking care of yourself and my son.”
“But, Cade …” she starts to protest, but I guess she thinks better of it and never finishes her thought.
I don’t remember falling asleep, but Emma’s objection was the last thing I heard until I wake up abruptly in the middle of the night.
The room is dark and Emma is sound asleep. I sit up in bed and my mind begins to race. I’m dog-tired. I rub my hands over my face. So much has happened in so little time that I just can’t keep up anymore. It makes me wonder if the rest of my life is going to move this quickly.
The club has been through so much … first there was the situation with Emma’s friend, Brianne, then Emma’s abduction, Mark Grayson, my so-called death, moving out of guns, and now this shit in Ireland.Can I really leave my club right now? Maybe I should stay here and let Hawk go to Ireland and handle Rebel’s problem.As I continue to sit in bed wide awake, all these questions plague my thoughts.
I know what needs to be done and I know myself well enough to know that I won’t rest easy until I have taken care of things personally. I reassure myself that Hawk will be fine with the club and the transitions we’re trying to make. He will. And then there’s Rebel. He’s never asked me for anything—well, except for Ari, but that’s different. Since day one, he’s always been there for his club and me. And now, he needs me. He needs his club and I can’t in good conscience let him down.
“Cade, why can’t I go with you?” Emma whispers in the darkness.
Shit, I thought that this discussion was tabled. I really don’t want to deal with this now. I already have enough on my plate, but my girl deserves an answer.
“Babe, it’s too dangerous.” I wait to see if she says anything. When she doesn’t, I try to soften the blow by saying, “You know I’d love to have you with me. But like I said, it’s dangerous. I don’t have all the facts yet and I have no idea what we’re getting ourselves involved in. But I am hoping that we can go in, find my aunt and uncle, and get the hell out. I want this to be quick and painless and the only way I can make that happen is if I’m not constantly worrying about you. I can’t risk you or my child getting caught in any crossfire,” I explain.
“And what if you get caught in the crossfire?” she asks.
“I won’t,” I reply confidently.
“And you’re sure about that? Can you swear to me that nothing will happen to you?”
“Baby, you know I can’t do that. But I’ll do everything in my power to keep our boys and myself safe. Hell, if I can survive Mark Grayson, surely the IRA is gonna be a piece of cake.” I’m trying to make light of the situation, but she isn’t laughing and obviously doesn’t like my humor.Fuck, I thought it was pretty funny.
“When do you leave again?” she asks.
“Friday.”
“So soon?”
“Yep, we need to get there as soon as possible. They’ve already been missing for a couple of weeks now, we can’t afford to waste any more time.”
“I know,” she says sadly. “I know you’re doing what you think is best. I just wish you didn’t have to go.” She hesitates and then adds, “I don’t know, Cade … I have an uneasy feeling about all of this.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. Something about this whole thing just has me rattled. I’m afraid that you or one of the boys are gonna get hurt,” she replies.
“The last thing I want you to do is worry that pretty little head of yours. We’re gonna be fine. You’re gonna be fine and our baby is gonna be fine,” I reply. I know that I can’t predict the future, but I’m gonna make damn sure that I do everything in my power to make sure that we all come home, whole and safe.
“I hope you’re right. I just can’t seem to shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen,” she says, defeated. “Why are you awake, anyhow?” she asks.
“Hell if I know. I’m dog-tired, but can’t seem to sleep. Too many things on my mind, I guess.”
“You’re worried too, aren’t you?” she asks.
Damn, she can see right through me.“A little,” I reply. “The timing is just off. That’s all that has me worried. There’s too much going on here for me to be leaving, but I can’t let my brother down either. I’m just torn by the things I care about the most.”
“I’m sorry, babe. I guess my whining about going doesn’t help you much, huh?”
“That’s one of the reasons I want you to stay here. You’re safe here and the less I need to worry about, the easier this mission will be.” Hopefully she’ll understand that as much as I would love to have her go, my head will be in a better place without her there.
“I understand, really I do,” she replies and I believe her. She hesitates for a moment and then adds, “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure babe, anything.”
