Page 45 of Nansar
My throat tightened. "No. I feel safe with you." The admission felt monumental, terrifying in its vulnerability. I took a shaky breath, forcing myself to continue. "I know we need to have sex to survive. I understand that. I just don't know if I can."
Nansar's hand lifted to my face, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind my ear. His fingertips grazed my skin, igniting a cascade of shivers down my spine that had nothing to do with fear and everything to do with the warmth radiating from his touch.
"It wouldn't be just to survive," he said, his voice dropping to something intimate, reverent. His eyes held mine captive, dark and intense. "I want you to know that. I think you're very beautiful, Chloe. And I'm very attracted to you. If we do this, it won't be simply a means to an end. Not for me."
Heat bloomed across my cheeks, spreading down my neck in a rush of warmth. My stomach fluttered with something I hadn't felt in so long I'd almost forgotten its name. Something that wasn't panic or dread. Something that felt dangerously, thrillingly close to desire.
"I'm attracted to you too," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. The confession felt like stepping off a cliff."That's not the problem. The problem is that I don't know if my body will cooperate. If my mind will let it."
Understanding softened his features. "I would never want to make you uncomfortable. We have time to figure something out."
"Do we?" I gestured toward the door, frustration bleeding into my voice. "They're going to kill you in three days if we can't prove—"
"We have time," he repeated, his tone steady as stone. "And whatever happens, we'll face it together. Yes?"
I studied him—this alien warrior who had become my shield, who had claimed me as his mate to save me from a fate worse than death, who now faced execution because of me. Somewhere in the chaos of the past days, something had shifted. The walls I'd built around my heart had developed cracks, and through them, trust had begun to seep in. Real trust.
"Yes," I whispered, the word a promise. "Together."
Nansar's expression transformed, the hard edges melting into something tender. "Come," he said gently, his voice like warm honey. "We should eat and rest. There's no telling what the Elder might come up with next."
He was right. My body ached with bone-deep exhaustion, the adrenaline that had sustained me finally draining away, leaving me hollow and trembling.
We ate in companionable silence, though the simple meal of roasted meat and root vegetables did little to ease the knot of tension coiled tight in my chest. Every bite felt mechanical, my mind too occupied with the impossible situation we faced. When we finished, Nansar rose and began gathering furs from the sleeping platform, his movements deliberate and careful.
"What are you doing?" The question came out more sharply than I intended.
"Making a place on the floor." He shook out a thick pelt, its silvery fur catching the firelight. "You should take the bed. You need proper rest."
"No."
The single word stopped him mid-motion. He turned, surprise flickering across his striking features.
I stood, wrapping my arms around myself as I gathered the courage to voice what I wanted. What I needed. "I want you to sleep with me. In the bed."
Something shifted in his expression—hope warring with concern. "Chloe, I would never wish to make you uncomfortable. After everything you've endured—"
"You don't make me uncomfortable." The words tumbled out in a rush, raw and honest. "You make me feel safe." I paused, then added the practical justification, even though we both knew it wasn't the real reason. "And we need to take every opportunity to act like mates, right? If someone comes in, if they're watching somehow... it needs to look real."
Nansar studied me with those intense blue-green eyes, searching for any hint of doubt or fear. The firelight cast shadows across his face, highlighting the sharp angles of his jaw, the strength in his features tempered by such unexpected gentleness.
"Are you certain?" His voice was low, careful.
I nodded, my heart a wild thing in my chest. "I'm certain."
He set the furs back on the platform, smoothing them out as though preparing something sacred. When he finally settled beside me, the space felt impossibly small—and yet not small enough. There was no avoiding contact, no pretending we were anything but two bodies sharing one bed.
For a heartbeat, old fears clawed in my gut. My muscles tensed, bracing for... I didn't even know what. But then Nansarshifted, giving me room, creating space for me to choose. Always giving me the choice.
I chose him.
Slowly, tentatively, I let myself settle against his side, resting my head on the broad expanse of his chest. His heartbeat thrummed beneath my ear—a rhythm different from a human's, faster and stronger, but somehow exactly right. The sound of it anchored me, pulled me back from the edge of panic.
His hand came to rest on my back, and after a moment of stillness—of waiting for permission I gave with my silence—he began to stroke his fingertips along my spine. Long, slow movements that sent warmth cascading through me, melting the tension from my muscles like ice under the summer sun.
"That feels nice," I murmured, surprised by the truth of it. Surprised that I felt anything good from touch anymore. "I don't mind you touching me."
I felt more than heard his pleased rumble, a sound that vibrated through his chest and into mine. His other hand came up to cup my face with such tenderness it made my throat tight.
