Page 50 of Crowned In Blood
Iwoke to the sun streaming through my curtains. I blinked, clearing the sleep from my eyes, then reached for my phone and balked. It was after 10 AM. I'd never slept so deeply or so late in my entire life.
I swung my legs over my bed as memories of last night came back slowly, the men, Marco breaking into my house, how scared he was. How I'd asked him to stay.
I'd slipped up last night. I hadn't wanted to be alone. I was so tired—tired of fighting, living each day with my guard up, and pushing myself to survive.
I wanted to exist, to experience joy, happiness,peace,and I refused to let anyone take that chance away from me. But something in me broke last night. Something that simply couldn't be repaired in the same ways I'd gone about fixing myself before.
I desperately needed rest, to feel safe, just for a night. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been able to lay my head down on my pillow and not force myself to stay alert.
I always strained to listen for any out-of-place sound, peered around every corner waiting for a monster to jump out and attack me. Because in my experience, there was always one waiting for me somewhere.
They came in various forms—Simon, Fernando, my sense of failure and unworthiness—but if I wasn't careful, my demons would drag me under, deep into their depths, and I would never be the same.
But Marco was the light,mylight. I should have asked him how he knew my address or about the attack, but I didn't. I was just happy to not be alone, to have someone that at least acted like they were on my side foronce.
His presence made mefeelprotected. He beat away my monsters last night, helped me lock them behind bars, gave me the reprieve I needed. That was enough, that wasmorethan enough. It was a blessing. But where was he?
He hadn't gone to bed beside me. The sheets were perfectly tucked in, and his scent wasn’t in the room. I didn't hear any sounds in the house either. But I knew he'd stayed. I knew him well enough to know he'd never let an opportunity pass him by.
I closed my hand around the knob to open the door and investigate, but paused.What if he was asleep in the living room? And if he was, how were we going to talk about him staying the night? We had to, right?
It felt strangely good to be pinned between him and the wall last night. His warmth, his firm muscles. The strength in his body as he trembled from the fear of losing me gave me a rush. Had anyone ever reacted that way to me before? Had anyone ever begged me to stay with them and cared about my safety?
I felt so cared for, solovedwhen he cradled me as though I'd break, that my walls had fallen down and I'd bared a piece of myself to him. It wasn't just that I'd let him in this time. I wanted to stop pretending just for a night, to see what it would be like to be honest with him about what he was starting to mean to me…
I shook my head, clearing my thoughts. Even if he was here, nothing had technically happened between us. We could just talk about this like adults and go back to how we were before.
But did I want us to? Unfortunately, even though I knew it was stupid, I didn't.
I yanked the door open with a huff, then quietly crept to my living room. My senses told me he'd left, but I couldn't help the disappointment that came over me when I found out he truly was gone. The only clue that he'd spent the night was a small shift in the pillows and blanket he'd neatly arranged on the couch.
Running my fingertips over the blanket, I imagined him asleep underneath it. Then I pulled it up to my nose and inhaled. Cedar, vanilla, sandalwood, and musk, scents that were slowly beginning to feel a lot like comfort and home.
A small ping of jealousy zipped through me that this had been the last thing to touch him and not me.
I just got jealous over a blanket. Clearly, I've lost my fucking mind.
But I still couldn't help but smile. Marco could have taken advantage of me multiple times last night, but he didn't. Instead, he'd been caring, considerate,protective.
He truly liked me, at least a little bit. His flirting, gifts, and constant attention weren't just a game, there was at leastsomethingthere. But I still didn't understand why. What did he see in me? What could he possibly gain from doing all of this? And why did those questions hurt my heart so badly?
I shook my head again and walked into the kitchen, where something smelled absolutely incredible. On the counter were two plates—salmon eggs benedict and a side of brioche-stuffed French toast—two of my favorites. It was even still warm.
A chuckle escaped me. I could see Marco buying the food with that smug smile of his, knowing I'd enjoy it, then slipping out of my house right before I'd woken up. It used to infuriate me that he was always right about me. But now, I was just grateful.
When had everything changed?
I ate breakfast, then called the office to let Olivia know I'd be in later, but she informed me Marco had already alerted her, but hadn’t explained why. I filled her in, then hung up.
Why am I not upset at him for invading my space?He had no right to call Olivia or tell her anything, yet all I felt was a sense of appreciation. He'd taken care of it for me, and I was starting to realize that was something he did regularly.
I finished breakfast, got ready, and as I left the house, I checked for a message from Marco, but he hadn't sent one.
That isn't like him.I could text him first…no.
I never had before, and even if I'd had the courage to, I wasn't sure what I wanted to say. With a sigh, I shoved my phone into my purse and drove to work.
Stopping by the farmer's market, I picked up some coffee and muffins for Olivia. She deserved at least that, an extra-long lunch, and a bonus for how well she took care of things and kept my schedule on track.
