Page 50 of The Fire Captain's Unexpected Baby
I don’t want to pressure her into doing something she’s not yet ready for, but damn. How can she not feel an iota of what I feelfor her? She’s all I think about when I’m not with her. What I look forward to when I get off a long shift.
I’m here for you.
She reads my message as soon as I hit send. The three bubbles pop up, letting me know that she’s typing back. Then, they disappear without so much as a single word sent. I wait for more.
Maybe she has to tend to Noah. Get him a snack.
I wait some more.
I finally realize that she isn’t going to text me back. That thisis how we are going to leave things.
With a sigh, I climb out of bed. The idea of being able to sleep is long forgotten, but so is the idea of unpacking that bedroom for Noah. I have to hope that Paige will change her mind, but I’m not ready to embrace the chance she might not. Not if I have a bedroom for her son at my place.
Walking past that quiet, empty room would kill me.
She’s only been in my life for a short while. I’ve survived the loss of nearly everyone in my life that I should have had. My biological mom and dad. My foster parents. The people I thought were my friends.
Deep down, I know I’ll survive this, too. No matter what happens between us, I will be okay.
I need a drink, something stronger than the stuff they pour at the bar. The only place where I can get what I need—other than my own meagerly-stocked bar—is the fire station.
That also happens to be where all of my friends are, the few I have in this town. Right now, Levi seems to be just about the best person I could drink with. He understands Paige better than anyone else.
I tug on a clean white T-shirt and a pair of loose-fitting, worn jeans. I decide to walk to the station, worried that I might not want to drive home after I’ve had a bourbon or two. I only bring my house key and wallet.
“You look like hell,” Levi remarks when I slouch into the chair in his office. “Need a drink?”
I nod and wait for him to hand me a tumbler with two fingers of the cheap stuff. He pours himself a vodka soda, weak because he’s on the clock. One of us needs to keep his wits about him at the station.
“Paige?” he asks when I don’t volunteer anything.
“Says she needs space,” I choke out. “What do you know about that?”
He looks up, surprised. So, he didn’t know that Paige texted me or even that she had been thinking about it.
To buy himself time, he takes a long sip of his soda. Then, he sets the glass on the desk between us and leans in.
“Paige has been through a lot,” he begins. “I tried to tell you on the day you asked for her number. Just be patient with her.”
“I’ve been through a lot too, and yet I’m not running.”
Levi studies me for a moment. He must have seen the scar on my back whenever I took off my shirt to sleep. There’s no way he hadn’t. That kind of scar only comes from something serious.
“It’s different when you have kids,” he says patiently.
He tells me a little bit about what it was like when his wife took her own life. How alone he felt, caring for two kids who needed both parents and only had one.
“I would have done anything to protect them from having it happen again. So I decided not to date,” he explains. “Paige made the same choice, even if it wasn’t conscious.”
“Noah is a good kid,” I say, not knowing how else to express the way I feel about the little boy.
I get why Paige is protective of him, but I don’t know why now. We had bonded that night when she asked me to watch him. I made a commitment to be there for him, the way my dad had been there for me. The way I see it, the best thing I can do is uphold that.
“I know you think that,” Levi says, breaking into my thoughts. “Just give her time. Spend your time here at the station. Let the guys help. It won’t feel so isolating.”
“Is that what you did?”
“I brought my kids with me a lot, yeah. And we got through it. The guys want to be there for you. This is family.” He pauses, searching for the right words. “Crown Hill is small. You won’t last here if you don’t let the town help you when you need it.”
