Page 49 of The Fire Captain's Unexpected Baby
We hurtle toward home, the drive passing in a blur. I set Noah up to play with his chunky blocks while I stare at my phone.
* * *
Aaron
There’s nothing better than lying in your own bed for the first time in a long while. The feel of clean sheets, smelling of freshly laundered cotton, just like the detergent promises. The memory foam pillow, molded to the back of my neck.
The only thing missing right now is Paige.
We’ve spent the night at her place a couple of times, but she’s never so much as thought about coming here. And how could she? This is a two-bedroom apartment, but I don’t have the second room set up. Right now, it holds stacks upon stacks of cardboard boxes.
If I want her to spend the night here, I’ll have to prepare the room for Noah. Somehow, I think that might not be the best move right at this moment. She wants something casual, but giving her son a bedroom?
Not so much.
I sigh and roll onto my side. Eventually, she’ll realize this can be more than casual. When she does, I’ll be ready. That means unpacking a few boxes when I have time off and she’s at the hospital—like tonight.
But sleep beckons me for now. It’s been a few days without a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. Instead of thinking about all of the things I could do or should do, I close my eyes and try to clear my head.
My therapist taught me how to meditate, but I rarely do.
I turn to stare at the ceiling, choosing a focal point where I can let my attention settle as I let my thoughts drift off. One by one, each thought floats down the river of my mind until there’s nothing left.
Until my phone buzzes on the nightstand and I can’t resist a quick peek.
Paige.
Immediately, I spring to life. The relaxation that flooded my body a moment ago is long forgotten in my need to get to her. To be there for her. To know what she wants to say to me right now.
I think we should cancel our date for Sunday night.
This has been the highlight of my week. I’ve been talking to the guys at the station, gathering recommendations for what we could do in a nearby town on our highly anticipated firstrealdate.
Sure, we’ve spent a lot of time together, but not as a couple. We have been Paige and Aaron, acquaintances who sometimes spend the night together. We haven’t yet talked about what we are or what we’re doing.
A date could change all of that.
A date with intention could show her that I would be there to treat her and Noah right. We could get to know each other a little more. It’s been so easy to open up to her. Maybe it’s time to tell her about my family.
And now she’scanceling?
That can’t be right.
I start to type out a response to her, an attempt to persuade her not to cancel. The second text hits my inbox and lands in my gut harder than any punch I’ve ever taken.
Dread fills every inch of my body.
I think we need to take a break. Get some distance for a while.
This has been the best week of my life, and now she wants to spend time apart? The idea of spending even a week without her makes me feel a dull ache somewhere deep in my chest.
My heart thuds so loud it echoes off the walls of the mostly empty room. I have to say something.
Do you want to talk about what’s going on?
I lie back down and close my eyes, holding the phone to my chest so that I won’t miss her response when it comes through. The buzz of the phone sends adrenaline in my veins as I open it to read.
I don’t know how to explain it. I just need space.
