Page 185 of Iced Up Love: Part Two
Rebuilding.
That word sticks. Because I know exactly what that brand is. What it’s been. What it’s built on. By the time I leave the room, my chest feels tight in a different way.
Zach is waiting just outside.
He looks up immediately.
“You okay?”
“No,” I say, scrubbing a hand through my hair. “They want me to be the fucking show pony again.”
His mouth tightens slightly. “Yeah. I figured.”
“I don’t have the capacity for that right now,” I admit. “I don’t want to stand in front of a camera and pretend everything’s fine.”
“I know.”
I pull my phone out without thinking, opening my socials.
It’s a mess. Notifications stacked on top of notifications. Messages. Tags. Mentions. Girls. Fans.
The same persona I built sitting right there waiting for me to step back into it.
“Look at this,” I say, turning the screen toward him. “This is what they want me to be.”
He glances at it.
Then back at me.
“I built this on being single,” I continue, the frustration pushing sharper now. “On being that guy. The one everyone watches, the one everyone wants, the one who plays into it.”
The words feel wrong in my mouth now.
“I’m not that guy anymore,” I say. “I don’t want to be that guy.”
My chest tightens.
“I’ve got her,” I add, quieter now. “She has everything in me. We’re… we’re about to have a fucking family, and I’m supposed to go out there and pretend I’m still… that?”
Zach is quiet for a second.
“I get it,” he says finally.
I shake my head, looking back at the screen.
“I want people to know she’s mine,” I admit. “I don’t want to hide her. I don’t want to act like she’s not the most important thing in my life.”
The words settle between us.
Real.
Heavy.
Zach exhales slowly.
“Then we need to figure out how we handle that,” he says. “Not today. Not right now. But… soon.”
I nod.
