Page 142 of Valley Girls
“You’re okay. You’re okay,” Adeena said softly, rubbing her back.
“Deep breaths,” Petra said, motioning her through.
“I’m sorry,” Rilla gasped, the second she had enough air. “I am so sorry. What I did was so wrong. I’ll give you the money. You can get it back.”
“It’s okay. You’re okay,” Petra said.
“I’m not okay.”
“You are okay.”
“I’mnotokay.”
“Youareokay.”
Rilla shook her head as a fresh round of sobs wracked her. She lay down on the granite and curled up into a ball. It hurt so deeply. She missed her home. She missed feeling as if she had a place where she belonged, even if it wasn’t the place she wanted to be. She missed believing someone loved her. She missed the connection of the rope to Adeena and Petra—to Walker. To her sister. She wept for the boy who’d shared her cigarette at a bus stop, challenged her to open her heart, and had fallen when she thought he would be the last to fall.
“Here,” Adeena said, pulling out her sleeping bag and draping it over her.
“I’m not going to tell anyone about the watch,” Petra said. “I know you’re sorry. I forgive you. And I’m sorry I said those things about you. That wasn’t okay.”
“Y’all were right.” Rilla sniffed. “I’ve been trying so hard. But it felt too risky to ask for help. I didn’t want to have to do that. You made me so mad. But it was anger ... it was hurt. I regretted it the moment I’d done it, but I just couldn’t admit it.”
“I’m sorry we made you feel like shit,” Petra said. “You’re right, we were unfair.”
“I’m sorry too,” Adeena said. “We all know how crummy it can feel to hear that from your friends.”
“I violated your trust,” Rilla said. “I was such a bitch to you.”
“It’s okay.” Petra looked down at her hands. “I have some things to work on, I’m realizing.”
“I’m going to pay you back. I’m going to get the watch back,” Rilla said.
“I know.” Petra nodded. “And you’regoingto France.”
“I have summit chocolate!” Adeena said.
Rilla sat up, clutching the sleeping bag around her dirty shoulders.
“Ah! We’ve revived her with chocolate,” Petra said, digging in her pack. “And I’ve got the alcohol.” She pulled out three little bottles of vodka and passed them around. “I didn’t feel like warm beer, sorry.”
Adeena unscrewed hers and tipped it back. “Summit vodka is excused. I love you,” she declared to Petra.
Rilla took a piece of chocolate and the little bottle. “I love you both too.” It was not as hard to say as she’d thought. It was like placing a piece and hoping it wouldn’t fall, but knowing if it did, she wouldn’t have done anything different anyway. She was climbing. There was risk. But there was also reward.
She toasted and drank the vodka, welcoming the warmth of the swallow in her exhausted body. Nibbling on the chocolate, she looked out over the dark blue shadows of the Sierras under the moon.
“Think about it,” Petra said softly. “Just three months ago, we sat on top of Snake Dike. Do you remember that? You’re here now. You’ve climbed The Nose. We’ve climbed The Nose.”
“We climbed The Nose,” Rilla repeated. It didn’t feel real. It didn’t feel connected to the moment three months ago when she hadn’t even known what The Nose was. “I climbed The Nose.”
“Wait ...” Adeena turned, digging through her pack. “We need a picture.” She set a timer and ran out to place the phone on the rock, before coming back.
They put their heads together and the flash went off, blinding them all to the shadows.
“Am I any different?” Rilla asked quietly as they blinked. “From Snake Dike?”
“Yes,” both girls said simultaneously.
