Page 93 of Valley Girls
Rilla swallowed. If she told him, her feelings would be obvious. Explicit. She turned away and put the tea back. “Just that you move through girls quickly.”
He didn’t respond. Didn’t look at her. She slid over his mug and waited.
“Climbing any better after Caroline?” he asked, changing the subject.
“I think so? I still suck, but like in a better way?”
He smiled. “That’s all you can ask for.”
“Hopefully I won’t be there forever.”
“You don’t think the best climbers feel that way?”
“Do you feel like you suck?” she asked.
“All the time. On and off the wall.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re supposed to tell me about your feats of nerve and daring.”
He blew softly on his tea, sending ripples over the liquid. “Sometimes it’s nice not to have to lead with that.”
She smirked. “If I had that to lead with, I would.”
His eyes popped up in amusement. “What about you with that whole ...” He shimmied his shoulders.
“Wait, what is that? That’s not me. Iamoffended.”
Now it was his turn to roll his eyes. “Right, who’s that guy you run with?” He drummed his fingers on the counter.
“Jonah is actually just a friend,” Rilla said primly.
“Sure.” Walker nodded. “Sure. Do you have a boyfriend back home?”
Something flashed hot and panicky across her chest. Rilla sipped her tea. It burned the tip of her tongue. “No. I’ve actually only had one boyfriend. A few other casual things ...” Just at that moment, the memory of being backed against the truck and slapping Curtis across the face shimmered alive in her head. Her palm stung. Her heart raced. She swallowed and looked down, trying to regain control. She was fine. It was fine.
“Really?” Walker asked with surprise.
“What’s that mean?” She realized too late it sounded intense and defensive.
“No. It’s fine. I just ... I don’t know. I expected—” He stopped abruptly and clamped his mouth shut. After a long drink of his tea he said, “Nothing. It means nothing.”
She narrowed her eyes.
“Was it serious?” he asked.
For Curtis, not for her. She’d been using him. She’d never thought about it like that, but she could see it now.It still wasn’t okay. It wasn’t okay.She told herself, but for the moment it was hard to believe what happened to her hadn’t been something she deserved—the price she’d had to pay.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want.”
Rilla looked up. “Oh. Sorry. No, it was complicated. Not serious, but complicated.”
His forehead creased and those blue eyes locked tight with hers. “Yeah?”
She tried not to squirm.
“Complicated but not serious. Hmm ...” He put his chin in his hand. “That’s pretty vague.”
She spun the mug, not looking at him. “I never got close to anyone. I didn’t want to. Then I might get stuck somewhere. People are dangerous. Ya know?”
