Page 138 of Valley Girls
“I’m fine. I’m not the one up there trying to free-climb The Nose,” Rilla scoffed.
“I cannot believe you, of all people, are here shitting on people’s dreams.”
“Oh my god, what the fuck crawled up your ass and hatched?” Rilla yelled.
“Guys,” Adeena said.
“Shut up,” they both yelled.
Rilla immediately regretted it.
“You’re the one who never climbed before this summer. Now look at you. You’re on the fucking Nose. Why the fuck are you being a bitch about me just trying this.” Petra started crying. “And failing.”
“Hey. You’re fine. It’s been a hard couple of days,” Adeena said, rubbing Petra’s shoulder. “Rilla’s probably just exhausted.”
“Yeah. I’m exhausted,” Rilla said flatly. “I’m also white trash and no way am I going to France, right Petra?”
Petra and Adeena looked confused.
“I overheard y’all talking,” she said.
There was a moment of silence.
“Did we say ...” Adeena frowned. “Something that wasn’t true?”
Rilla flushed, her cheeks feeling crispy from the blush and sunburn and windburn. “Oh, I’mgoingto France.”
“Isthatwhat you’re all upset about? Grow up,” Adeena said, in as a close a thing as Rilla had ever heard her snap.
“You can’t say that shit about me.”
“Oh, the shit that’s true?” Petra said.
“It’s not true. I’m not only that. You made me sound like I’d ...”steal from her. Which Rilla had. To prove what? She closed her eyes and tried not to cry.
“No one is saying you’re only that. No one is saying you’re this forever. It’s just right now this is what you are. You get pissed at Petra for trying to climb something way out of her range, and you’re too scared to even try the shit youcando.” Adeena exhaled and crossed her arms. “You’re not the first or the last. Even if you don’t go to France, you’ll go someday. Get the fuck over yourself, Rilla. You’re not that special.”
Rilla and Petra stared.
“I’m ready to climb,” Adeena said. “I don’t want to be doing this anymore.”
“I stole your watch. And pawned it,” Rilla said to Petra. Immediately, a tension she hadn’t known she had dissolved. Replaced by misery, when Adeena and Petra stared at her.
“Are you serious?” Petra asked. “You ...stole...”
Rilla blinked. “You have no idea how much shit is attached to me. Hearing y’all say those things was my worst nightmare come true. I came three thousand miles hoping to never hear someone talk about me that way again. I spent all summer doing everything ...” She had to take a breath. “Everything.To make everyone see me differently.”
“No one saw you the way you see yourself,” Petra said. “Why would you take that?”
“I couldn’t take the tub.”
Petra didn’t laugh. “Fuck, Rilla. How am I supposed to trust you now?”
Rilla bit her cheek. “I just wanted to prove to you I could make it to France. That I was worthwhile.”
“People come and go all the time. People can’t do stuff because of money all the time. If we all had money, we’d be ... fuck, I don’t know ...” Petra looked around. “I’d be at a spa right now.”
Rilla rolled her eyes. “You’d be in Yosemite. The place every climber wants to be.”
