Page 114 of Valley Girls
Caroline snorted and shook her head. “I feel bad. But ...”
But no one would have asked Petra anyway, was the thing Rilla felt they both would say but didn’t. Rilla looked down. “Is there sexism in climbing?”
Something she said must have been funny, because Caroline started laughing so hard she had to stop walking. She bent and braced herself on her knees, still laughing.
Rilla raised an eyebrow. “It wasn’t a joke.”
“I know,” Caroline asked. “You just ... oh.” She stood and wiped her eyes. “Yesis the answer.”
Rilla readjusted the lens bag and looked around at the tourists staring.
“Do you know what happens when I pose for a climbing photo and I’m wearing a sports bra and tight shorts? Or, god forbid, a bathing suit?”
Rilla was silent, falling back in step beside her as they entered Half Dome Village.
“A thousand people leave comments about whether the aesthetic of my body pleases them—a body that is a tool to take me where I want to go. A hundred people email me their opinion that I am setting women back a hundred years by trading sex appeal for attention. Ten people actually write think-pieces that are published online or in print about the same thing, but adding in how the values of climbing are being lost in today’s generation. How no matter their opinion on what I did, I am a symptom of the sickness that is plaguing this culture. When Hico does it—nothing.” She sighed. “Everything a woman in the public eye does is a disaster. Adeena was inRock and Icein a hijab, and the amount of shit she got for that ...” Caroline rolled her eyes. “It was in the millions. Because Huffington Post picked it up. She was wearing it because she was around her family that day, and Adeena is one of the most respectful people I know. But god forbid a woman make her own decisions about how she conducts herself, or bridges her cultures, or deals with her faith. What a thousand men have done, one woman can’t do without being a symptom or a symbol.”
Rilla’s shoulders sagged, feeling put in her place. “Oh.”
Caroline snorted. “Yeah.”
“Well. That’s ... yeah. Gross.” Rilla didn’t know what words would make sense after that. But then, suddenly, it came to her. “I’m sorry that happens to you. If it means anything, that’s the thing I admire most about you. That you are just yourself and also a climber. It makes me feel like, in some way, I can be Rilla and a great climber.”
Caroline smiled. “Thank you. I appreciate hearing that.”
“Have you been to Pakistan with Adeena?”
Caroline shook her head. “I’d love to climb there with her someday. That’s how she met Hico—thatRock and Iceshoot. They asked her to bring him. That sort of bugged me—that Adeena, a hugely talented climber—wasn’t enough of a draw on her own, but it was good for Adeena’s career overall. I think Adeena feels that way too.”
“I don’t know why I thought this was all this paradise where none of this went on. I feel very naïve all of a sudden,” Rilla said.
“Because on the rock, it’s not real. It all falls away when you climb. On the ground, it’s different.” Caroline stopped and reached for the bag. “If I didn’t love climbing so much, I’d never be able to deal with the bullshit on the ground. Thanks for carrying the lenses.”
“Have fun,” Rilla said.
Caroline laughed, heading into the woods. “Pray I don’t die from heat exhaustion.”
Rilla turned back, taking her time through Half Dome Village to see if anyone needed a break from their work for a few dollars. She fished a condom out of a toilet, removed a troop of baby mice from a cabin, and bought Thea a cold Gatorade before heading out into the heat to find her.
She looked so miserable, in the only patch of sunlight coming through the trees, waving cars through the intersection with Yosemite Village, that Rilla felt guilty. It wasn’t her fault, but it somehow made her remember all the ways she’d let her sister down. She was climbing, even though Thea had forbidden it. TheWANTEDposters for the stolen plaque had made it onto the doors of the store and cafeteria in Half Dome Village, and her homework wasn’t even remotely finished, while Rilla held hope Thea would realize the GED test was the simplest solution.
Thea spotted Rilla and stepped out of the intersection, letting another ranger take her place.
“Will you just look into me taking the GED?”
Thea rolled her eyes. “You can’t use it—”
“I’ll keep working. Just please consider it.”
Thea shrugged. “Fine. I’ll look into it.”
“I brought you this,” Rilla said, handing over the sweating bottle.
“Aw ...” Thea unscrewed the top. “Thanks.”
A thousand prickles of guilt stabbed her chest, but Rilla just nodded. “You’re welcome.”
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