Page 57 of Savored Sins
Lena knows I know what it’s like to feel absolutely powerless.
And that’s when I start to cry.
twenty-seven
ZEKE
I’m still stunned that we found this drawing. Like, there’s no doubt about it. It’s Lena, forsure. And while I’ve had my own sort of sexy tryst with her, this drawing is a different story.
The way she’s lying there on the couch like that, all seductive, yet still at ease? She’s completely vulnerable, completely trusting of the dude drawing her. And then that dude turned around and fuckingkilledher. Honestly, it’s not even computing. I can’t wrap my head around it.
And Autumn…
I knew when she asked me about the pendant that it was only a matter of time before she broke down—which is understandable. But god, I don’t know how to deal with this stuff. I haven’t cried since Maddie Carver told everyone in the sixth grade that my dad left because he hated me. And let’s face it. I’m not the world’s mostcomfortingperson.
“Hey,” I say, placing a tentative hand on Autumn’s waist. “You okay?”
Autumn lets out a sob as she shakes her head, her hair falling in her face. I’ve got the sudden urge to reach out and tuck the strand behind her ear, but it feels too intimate. It feelslike something a boyfriend would do—and I’m definitely not anybody’s boyfriend.
“She knew I would understand,” Autumn chokes out. She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. “Lena must’ve… must’ve seeneverything. She was in this house when Patrick used to come home smelling like perfume I didn’t own. She’d have heard us arguing, heard him yelling. Saw that time I found the thong in his briefcase.”
“Yeah…”
Well, shit. If I thought I was going to avoid an intimate situation, I thought wrong. This conversation is absolutelybarrelingits way toward Intimate Island—full fucking steam ahead. But this situation is serious, and I’m not trying to be a douche, so I keep quiet and let Autumn talk.
“I used to feel so—so—powerless,” Autumn continues. Her voice is almost too even, like she knows it’s going to get shaky and is keeping a stranglehold on it. “And Lena… God, I can’t even imagine how she must’ve felt. Howscared. I always knew the men in Patrick’s family were shit, and this just proves it.”
“I know,” I say, nodding. “I mean—about the scared part. I keep thinking about that, too. And the fact she must’ve wanted you to have the pendant as some sort of connection between the two of you.”
Autumn wipes her eyes again. “Or to prove it was really her in the photo. Not that we really needed more proof.”
“Trust me,” I say, cracking a grin. “I can see her just fine.”
Autumn ignores my comment, which is probably just as well. Every time I think she’s getting it together, she blinks and another flood of tears comes spilling down her cheeks. I’m starting to kind of freak out, because I have no clue what to say or do to make her feel better—or if I should even try. I’ve heard some women say theylikecrying, that it cleanses their system, orsome shit like that. Maybe Autumn’s one of those women. I don’t fucking know.
“God. What do wedo?” Autumn asks. I can tell she doesn’t want an actual answer, though, because she continues straight through to her next thought. “I wonder where her body is. Do you think it’s in the lake? Should we ask her? And honestly, come to think of it, who on earth is going to believe us?—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I say, cutting her gently off. I put my hand on her lower back again, rubbing gentle circles with my palm in a gesture I hope is comforting. I may not know how to navigate emotions, but the female body…thatI know. “Let’s slow down a little bit.”
Autumn’s brow furrows, like the thought hadn’t even occurred to her. “Slow down…?”
“Yeah,” I shrug. “Lena’s been here for, like, eighty something years. She’s not gonna be mad if you take a breath, if you think a little about what to do.”
“Really? Can you see her?”
My gaze flashes to Lena, who’s back at her spot near the spirit board. Ever since the night of the blow job, she’s had her fill of me. I guess when you go eight whole decades without any sort of release, you’ll jump on the first guy who walks in and can see you. I get it. Lucky for her, that guy was a stud.
Maybe that kind of release will help Autumn, too. Dispel some of that tension she’s got going on. I can at least try—it’s the only thing I know to do.
I head over to the coffee table and shut off my phone camera, shoving the phone into my back pocket as I pass by the camcorder and shut that one off, too.
As I approach Autumn again, sliding both my hands around her waist and tugging her toward me, she frowns. “What are you doing?”
“Making you feel better,” I say, fixing her with a look that says I’m not leaving here until she’s taken care of. My hands are traveling up her sides, sliding to her front to cup her tits. Weirdly, she stays frozen. Her body doesn’t soften to meet me, and there’s no melting into my arms like she’s done before.
“Making me feel better,” she repeats. There’s almost zero inflection in her voice.
“Mmhm,” I murmur, pulling her hips in toward mine. I can already feel my dick starting to stiffen in my jeans with how close she is to me now.
