Page 64 of The Blade in the Ashes
As a Siren, I was always so filled with emotion. I was acutely aware not only of my every feeling, but of everyone else’s too. It was exhausting to be so constantly in tune with everyone else. But times like this were by far the worst. My own feelings were so loud they were suffocating. Everyone else’s just felt like lances aimed straight at me.
At least alone, by the water, I felt nothing but the cold sea air.
It was a sweet release. A momentary break from the reality that was bearing down on me.
My mother had been the first, but she wouldn’t be the last loved one I lost before this was all over.
Would Kreyana and Kressida be next?
Iris?
Rankor?
All of them?
The wood of the dock creaked in the distance, and my momentary peace snapped at the sudden sensation of Rankor’s worry seeping into my skin.
“Your sisters have finished packing,” he said, lowering himself next to me.
I glanced sideways at him, noticing the dampness of his hair and his freshly shaven face. He must have bathed while the twins prepared for our journey.
“I couldn’t have done this without you,” I admitted.
It was a small blessing that Rankor had been here during the memorial. My sisters had been sending me needy glances constantly. They wanted meto comfort them, to ease their grief, but I didn’t have it in me. Rankor had thankfully taken over managing them.
It was my own fault they’d become so dependent on me. I was the one who willingly stepped into the role of their father figure.
And now I could barely stand to be around them.
So, Rankor had cared for the girls when Kressida had arrived home, and they’d both started crying. While I, on the other hand, had stormed out of the house and shouted at them to stay the fuck away from me. Rankor had then gone throughout the village and told the others about Hyrax. He warned everyone to be on alert and be prepared to flee. He’d even gathered a small number of men who were willing to take up arms for their king.
He had continued with the plan like a true soldier, while I had sat on this beach and stared at the waves, nursing a bottle of whiskey.
He clapped me on the back gently. “We should get moving.”
There was a heaviness in his voice, a measure of sympathy that made the lump in my throat feel even more pronounced.
“I thought I’d have more time.”
Rankor sighed, reaching over to take the now-empty bottle out of my hand. “Every day we spend here puts the princesses in more danger. We have to get to them.”
That wasn’t what I meant.
“Before I lost someone,” I clarified, turning to meet his gaze. “I thought I’d have more time before I had to mourn.”
That was the true tragedy in all of this. Not that she died. I hadexpectedthe people I loved to die.
It’s that she died before I prepared myself for this feeling.
“Where do you think she went?” I wondered aloud, lifting my eyes to the stars that splattered themselves across the sky.
I couldn’t get the question out of my mind.
Hyrax was here. Pasnia was dead. Thea had opened those portals and allowed the Underworld to spill into our realm.
So, what was left of the Underworld now? Did it still exist without someone to rule it?
Rankor was quiet for a long moment. “She’s at peace. I have to believe that.”
