Page 54 of The Blade in the Ashes
Iwas still shaking when the healers came and carried Damon out of the room.
And despite how utterly empty and defeated I felt inside, I was painfully aware of everything all around me. The birds outside had quieted. A light snow was starting to fall. The sun had begun to set over the mountains behind the castle. That damned white cat was pressing its snout against the window.
And inside, everything was still. Everyone in the room focused on me.
Hyrax looked disappointed.
The Monarchs were suspicious.
Caldrius seemed to alternate between the frightening satisfaction he’d earlier shown and the glances of concern he seemed to constantly send my way.
I wondered if their attention was because they were waiting for me to speak again. Did Hyrax want me to return to that chair at his side? Did the Monarchs expect me to make demands of them like my father had?
I couldn’t do any of those things.
I couldn’t do anything but stand here and tremble like a weak little girl.
A powerless girl.
I gathered my skirts in my hands and stood so swiftly that the world spun. I wavered, balance seeming to slip from my grasp, and a hand was suddenly on my elbow.
No.
“You need to calm down,” Caldrius instructed, his eyes imploring me to relax.
If only it were that simple.
The thought of calming my racing heart seemed impossible when I still couldn’t breathe.
Nothere.
“I can’t be here.”
This room was cursed.
The blood had been washed away, but I could still see it. It had been everywhere. Kent’s blood. The Dragon’s blood. My own. It had poured from my nose and ears when she’d ripped my magic away from me. I could still feel it sliding down my face even now.
Caldrius’ hand came to cup my cheek, his thumb brushing the skin.
No, the wetness I felt wasn’t blood; it was fresh tears.
I was crying.
“I can’t be here,” I repeated.
Hyrax’s presence was a tangible force. His shadows wereeverywhere.
“Oh, take her to her room, Caldrius,” Hyrax commanded with a dismissive wave of his hand. “I have no use for her if she insists on being so emotional.”
Caldrius nodded before extending his hand to me. His lips moved, forming the shape of my name, but I couldn’t hear the sound.
And I couldn’t take the hand he offered me.
I lifted my skirts and ran from the room without another word.
Sweat pebbled across the back of my neck and dripped down my spine as I slammed shut the door to my suite. There was an aching pain in my chest from my heart beating too rapidly. Gods, this dress was too tight. The air was too warm. Everything waswrong.
I rushed to the bathing room when a wave of nausea overtook me with blinding fury and quickly emptied the contents of my stomach into the waste bin.
