Page 38 of The Blade in the Ashes
Camilla had hurt me when she betrayed us all, attacked Thea, and killed Lorelai.
Thea had hurt me when she’d disregarded our friendship and freed Camilla.
Clay, Kent, Rankor, and Elaina had all hurt me when they’d seemingly accepted Camilla back into their ranks despite what she’d done.
And…
Well, and Lorelai had hurt me, too.
Lorelai had broken me by dying.
She had broken me into so many tiny pieces that even a treasure hunter like Nikolai Legum wouldn’t be able to find them all and piece me back together.
I slammed the chest shut, latching the hooks and pushing it towards Nikolai.
“No, I don’t,” I hissed, before turning on my heels. “Find someone to sell those to.”
His fingertips wrapped around my wrist, pulling me back towards him. Instinct had my elbow flying towards his jaw, but he easily caught it and forced me to turn and meet his hazel eyes.
His eyes really were something worth marveling at.
There were a myriad of colors in those eyes. Sometimes they were pure green. Other times they were cracked with golden streaks. Now, I was staring into pure honey.
They were captivating.
And entirely not what I needed to be focusing on.
“We can spend our time discussing plans and strategizing battles for now,” he told me, peering at me through a fan of dark lashes. “But eventually the time will come when you’re ready to let me back in. And when that time comes, you can tell me all about the past year. Tell me about your childhood, then, too. Tell me anything you wish, so long as you’re telling me about therealyou.”
His meaning was clear.
Nikolai didn’t want the version of me I showed my friends. He didn’t care for the happy, free-spirited friend always willing to dance and laugh.
He also didn’t want the killer I let the Order turn me into.h
He wanted us both. He wanted it all. He wanted the truth.
I swallowed, ignoring the familiar scent of him even as I felt his touch like a scorch of fire against my skin.
His tongue darted over his lower lip, and he rose to his feet, standing a foot taller than me. A shadow of stubble painted his carved jawline, and I had the sudden urge to run my lips along the line of it.
The pang of longing hit me so unexpectedly that I stumbled backwards.
I hadn’t allowed myself to feel that for some time.
“I need your resources to win the war,” I insisted. “That is the only reason I’m here.”
His gaze crested down my face. “That is the reason you came. It will not be the reason you eventually choose to stay, my bird.”
He sidestepped me before I could protest again, clapping his hands together before easily lifting the enormous chest I had packed full.
“I know just the place to offload this,” he told me as he turned towards the door. “Then, you and I can be on our way to procure the additional blades.”
“I’m not coming with you, Nikolai!” I followed him down the hallway. “Whatever imagination you have about a romantic adventure is only that. A delusion.”
He stopped short, forcing me to stumble two steps backward as he turned to face me, his expression burning with seriousness and unspoken words.
“Youarecoming with me, bird, and if you find our adventure romantic, then I will happily enjoy any second you give me between your perfect thighs. Make no mistake, though, you are coming not because of my delusions of us, but because I know better than anyone how positively deadly you are. You are the only one I want watching my back while we try to steal some of the most prized weapons in all the realm.”
