Page 31 of The Blade in the Ashes
Kent just blinked down at the vial.
I thrust it toward him once more, wanting to hiss in frustration and knowing it would get me nowhere. As Elaina liked to remind me, I would never regain my friends if I continued relying on anger to hide my hurt.
“Trust me, please.”
His gaze darkened, communicating everything he didn’t need to say aloud. Kent had no reason to trust me.
He had every reason to throw that vial, abandon the house that Elaina and I had created as our base of operations, return to Clay and Iris, and insist they burn me at the stake for my crimes.
Iris would happily scream her agreement and do a damn happy dance.
Anger may not win me any friends, but neither did trying to be nice either. What I’d broken between us couldn’t be repaired.
“Oh, good!” Elaina’s voice was as chipper as ever as she strolled into the room and glanced over the standoff between us. “I was actually going to recommend you use a relaxation cream! It will take time for your muscles to regain their strength, and the process will not be painless by any means.”
With a frustrated huff, like a child who had just been disciplined, he snatched the vial from my hand and stood. “I’m perfectly capable of working through a few aches and pains.”
Elaina grinned, walking towards him and patting him on the chest. He didn’t flinch at her touch, not necessarily, but his lips pressed together enough to know that she had proven her point about the seriousness of his recovery.
“Of course you can,” she agreed, looking up at him through her lashes. “But why make the process more difficult than it needs to be?”
He exhaled, nodded, and left without a second glance back at me. I watched him go, a biting sadness burning in my chest as I wiped my hands on the apron across my waist. I swallowed it down.
Fine. If he didn’t want to be my friend, then he didn’t have to be. I didn’t need him or any of them.
“He’ll come around,” Elaina promised, running her hands through her long hair and beginning to twist it back into a tight bun at the nape of her neck. The motion sharpened her already refined cheekbones and jawline.
She was a good distraction.
I had always relied on clothing and elaborate styling of my hair and face to feel beautiful, but Elaina had no need for that. It always seemed to take me by surprise how effortlessly pretty she was. Even like this, with her face clean, her hair haphazardly thrown back, and wearing nothing more than riding trousers and a wrinkled tan tunic that was a size too large for her, she was stunning.
I wasn’t sure if it was jealousy or appreciation that surged in me when I looked at her, but either way it was the most pleasant feeling I’d experienced in hours.
“He won’t come around,” I disagreed, moving to prepare the tonic to help with headaches. “I’ve already accepted that. Despite being so level-headed when it comes to battle strategies, Kent has always been the biggest grudge holder I know. Once, he didn’t talk to Rankor for six months because he dented his favorite shield.”
Elaina chuckled. “It’s always the quiet ones you have to look out for.”
I titled my head in acknowledgement, reaching for the jar of tarragon leaves. “It’s because he’s an empath.”
Elaina frowned her confusion and I shrugged, avoiding her gaze as memories poked at my soul.
“He told me once that there was a girl that he loved who had broken his heart. He knew that she loved him in return because he could feel her emotions, but she still married someone else, and he was devastated. All this time later, and he still hasn’t gotten over it. Now, he hates his powers. He hates the burden of having to feel and manage everyone else’s emotions. He hates the expectation of being the emotionally grounded one just because of what he is.”
Elaina came to my side, looking down over the worktable. “That sounds hard.”
I nodded, peeling off basil leaves from the stem. “That’s all to say that he will not forgive me. Kent doesn’t believe in using your emotions as an excusefor misdeeds because he has to manage thousands of emotions and still manages to always be the responsible one amongst us.”
Elaina sighed, apparently knowing that continuing this conversation would eventually lead to an impossible argument. She’d gotten to know me well enough to know when my stubbornness refused to be negotiated with.
And in that moment, I was very stubborn in my insistence that I didn’tdeserveforgiveness.
“Can I help clean?” She asked.
Only Elaina would offer to help clean after spending hours and hours on her feet helping the healers. I waved her off. “You should rest.”
She grinned, tapping a finger against my nose. “You’re too kind.”
“No one has ever accused me of that.”
