Page 167 of The Blade in the Ashes
Clay looked away, indecision in his eyes, and conflict obvious in the tension in his shoulders.
The part of him that wanted to protect me wanted to give me vague assurances that everything would be okay. The king in him, though, recognized the Goddess in me and knew that platitudes and hopeful wishes wouldn’t be enough to win this war.
We couldn’t just be two people in love anymore.
We also couldn’t be the prince and the last Descendant of Hyrax wearing masks and faking political politeness anymore.
We needed to be leaders, and leaders knew when to be honest about the odds they were facing.
“What if my powers don’t ever come back, Clay?” I could hardly bear to whisper the words. My chest constricted around them, as if giving voice to the fear made it more likely.
He sighed, staring at the ground as he ran his tongue over his teeth. I felt the passing of every second he considered his words like a pounding against my heart. And even though I knew exactly what he was thinking, I allowed him the dignity of being the one to say it.
“I won’t bow to him, Thea. Not for anything.”
When he lifted his head to meet my gaze, his eyes were blazing. The golden light within them was luminescent in the darkness, shining like a beacon to guide the way home.
He was my home.
I wouldn’t lose him again.
“Then we'll go down fighting together,” I agreed, breathing the words like a vow. “To the very end. Even if that end is in theUnderworld.”
Clay traced my lower lip with his thumb. “If that’s what it comes to, I will happily follow you into death.”
After the past few months, I'd grown rather accustomed to the concept of death. I knew, better than anyone, what waited for us on the other side of the Veil. I’d walked every corner of the Underworld and seen it for myself. If we lost this war and our lives with it, I knew where we would end up.
And when I pitched forward and kissed him, I did so with joy in my heart because that outcome—as much as I would fight tooth and nail to avoid it—didn’t seem that bad.
Clay’s arms circled my waist, pulling me to him, and the chasm of hurt, pain, and fear inside of me shrank even further as his tongue tangled with mine. He kissed me as if it were the first and last time all at once. His touch was both gently and insistent, and I was just as desperate for him. Warmth traveled throughout every inch of me, as I pulled against his tunic, needing the feel of him pressed against every part of me.
If we only had this last kiss before the end of this war, then I wanted him to feel my love in every second of it.
Ayanna cleared her throat, standing from the circle of crystals she had laid out on the floor. “We should start.”
Pulling away from him felt painful and unnatural, like stepping away and leaving a part of my soul behind. Clay’s pained eyes seemed to mirror my feelings, but he nodded down at me, and I smiled, knowing that whatever happened next I would be able to face it with him at my side.
“Show me what you’ve got, love,” he commanded.
He squeezed my hand once more, his grip pressing the metal bracelets into my skin before he rested a hand on my lower back and pushed me towards the circle.
No more time to waste.
No more delays.
No more time spent feeling powerless.
Stepping inside the circle of stones, I felt a quake of power ripple through me. Ayanna watched me, as if she could see it sparking up my legs, and nodded as if she had expected it. I held the blade in my grip, repeatedly tightening and loosening my fingers to keep my grasp on it despite the sweat that lingered in my palm.
“The blood of the divine must be shed?” I questioned, lifting my brows at Ayanna.
“Not a lot; your palm should do.” She glanced down at the book in her hands, nodding to herself once more. “Let it drip onto the stone and imagine your power spreading into a cocoon around you.”
Right.
Simple.
“Well, here goes nothing.”
