Page 158 of The Blade in the Ashes
He turned, moving to strap weapons to himself. More and more forces were trickling in from Rankor and Kent’s journey, and many of them had never even held a blade before. Clay spent every morning on the field with his generals training his men and preparing them for what was about to come.
While Clay trained the army, I trained Camilla.
It had been a slow process so far. Getting her to summon her powers had been relatively simple—we’d even mastered enough that she could summon her animus on command and have it walk circles around us. Getting her to control that same magic, though? Well, that had been a different task entirely. We had to sequester her at the end of one hall in the main manor, far from where anyone could accidentally walk past her room and fall to their knees with temporary bouts of insanity.
Still, we were making progress. At least, that’s what I kept reminding her every time she looked ready to burst into tears with self-hatred.
Her powers would regulate in time. I believed that. In time, she would even learn to accept that being the Goddess of Madness didn’t mean she needed to hold herself responsible for Pasnia’s crimes.
“I don’t know how Elaina isn’t more affected by her,” Clay mused, sitting on the edge of the bed to tug on his boots and begin fastening the laces. “I walked past that hall two days ago andsworeI heard my mother singing.”
A smile played at the edges of my lips as I pictured the way Elaina doted on Camilla. “Well, it’s a little different for Elaina.”
He frowned. “How so?”
“Well,Iwould never hurtyouwith my magic.” I shrugged, finding it all rather obvious. “My powers would never lash out or attack you, even if I felt out of control. I imagine Camilla’s magic is functioning similarly with Elaina.”
Clay’s frown deepened as his fingers stilled on the laces of his boots. His head tilted awkwardly as he thought through the implications of my words. “You don’t mean that—”
I raised a brow, giving him that same smug smirk he used to give me all the time back at the palace. “You didn’t notice?”
With a surprised huff, he ran a hand over his jaw, scratching at the patch of overgrown stubble. “I guess they spend a lot of time together.”
Clay, for all his wonderfully admirable qualities, was apparently just as oblivious to the thoughts and feelings of women as any other man would be.
“I’ve been here for only a matter of days and I found it to be rather obvious.” I scoffed, rounding the bed to lift his jacket and pass it to him. “You’d have to be blind not to see how hopelessly in love with each other they are. And it’s a good thing, too—having Elaina by her side while she comes to terms with this change in her identity will be good for Camilla.”
A slow grin spread across his face as he took the jacket from my outstretched hand and tossed it aside, choosing instead to wrap an arm around my waist and pull me close.
“Speaking from experience, my Goddess?” His gaze darkened as he pressed me tightly against him, attention dipping to my lips for a moment, and I felt a wave of heat roll off his skin.
“Of course,” I laughed, melting into him for a moment.
His thumb traced at the circles under my eyes. "Did you sleep okay?"
I averted my gaze, dipping under his arm rather than answer his question, even as I felt his eyes trailing my movements. It was easier to focus on the movements of dressing myself for the day than it was to face the concern in his gaze.
Since returning, I had insisted that I was okay, and that I didn’t want anyone to treat me like I was broken. I had put on a brave face. I started eating again. I smiled and told jokes.
In the nights, though, when it was just the two of us alone in this bed, I turned away from him, closed my eyes, and pretended to sleep. I laid there for hours, wide-awake while my mind worked endlessly.
Maybe all that time alone in the castle under Hyrax’s rule had broken me. Now I was some changed version of myself, and I didn’t even recognize the person I saw in my reflection. How could I possibly get my mind to quiet enough to be present with him when my own thoughts felt like those of a stranger?
“Thea,” Clay’s voice was sharp, and I braced myself for his concern. He would disguise it as he always did, try to make light of it, but I knew how worried he was.
But when I turned to meet his inevitable scrutiny, it wasn’t me he stared at.
“There’s something you should see,” he said over his shoulder, from where he watched the front lawn through the window.
My throat tightened with the sudden surge of anxiety as I darted across the room, not bothering to put on my own boots before I forced him aside so I could look out at the landscape.
I swallowed, glancing wildly to see what he did. Nothing looked particularly amiss. The soldiers were warming up for the day. A temporary kitchen had been set up where some women were passing out bowls of breakfast to those who wandered by.
Frowning, I glanced at him, my brow lifted in a silent question.
And my king grinned back at me, a joyous light hidden in his grey eyes. He pointed to the forest line. “Look there.”
I followed his line of sight, narrowing my eyes and searching for—
