Page 148 of The Blade in the Ashes
Elaina looked at me and sighed before rising to her feet and talking to them in a hushed whisper. She kept her back to me, oblivious to the fact that I could hear her every word ringing in my oversensitive mind.
I heard her words.
I saw through Kent’s eyes.
I felt the blood dripping onto Iris’ back.
“Well, anyone who spends time with her demonstrates strange symptoms.”
Thea crossed her arms over her chest, glancing at me peripherally. “Like what?”
Elaina shifted her weight, eyes darting away uncomfortably. “They report seeing and hearing things that aren’t there. I wouldn’t have believed it, but then a few moments ago I myself saw dozens of doves flying in this very room.”
A laugh bubbled out of me just as Thea went rigidly still. Clay instinctively turned toward her, touching her shoulder, but the Goddess had focused her attention on me. There was shock on her face—shock thatsettled into a small expression of odd resignation. She stared at me without blinking, mouth ajar.
Then, she took a tentative step towards me.
“I would like to speak to Camilla alone,” she requested, not even turning back to them.
Clay took her hand in his own. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
He thought I might hurt her again.
Maybe I would.
It wouldn’t be on purpose, of course, but I was past the point of controlling myself.
What if I lost myself in one of those visions?
“Yes.” The order fell heavily in the room, Thea’s voice taking on a cadence that did not seek any negotiation. Clay drew back, and for a moment he looked as if he wanted to protest further, but he nodded and backed away when Thea amended the command with a gentle, “Please.”
His gaze lingered on her even as he backed away, as if it were impossible for him to look away for a single second. She didn’t return the attention, not noticing the adoration he gave to her so obviously.
The door clicked shut after them, and for a moment Thea just stood there looking down at me. I braced myself for her wrath and hatred. Prepared myself for the moment she would tell me that I was a liability to their cause and still needed to pay for my crimes.
I didn’t even know if we had prison cells here. Perhaps there was something similar they would use to lock me up.
“You feel it in your gut, don’t you?” she asked, moving towards me. Her slow steps echoed.
As she reached my side, she turned and let her back hit the wall before sliding down to sit next to me on the floor. Stretching out her legs, she crossed her feet at the ankles and rested her hands on her thighs, leaning her head back as she stared out the window.
“It’s like a pit deep inside of you.”
I opened my mouth to answer her, but gasped as I fell haphazardly into another vision. Rankor was bickering with that dark-haired woman. She stormed off and Kent frowned at her.
“I want you to breathe,” Thea instructed, taking my hand and pressing it onto her chest. Above her heart. She took a deep breath in, and her chest lifted under my hand. With her exhale, it fell. “Like this. You have to breathe, Camilla.”
I glanced sideways at her, swallowing when I took in her encouraging smile. Feeling each rise and fall of her chest, I worked to match my breath with hers.
In and out.
In and out.
“Good, keep going,” she encouraged.
And I did. I continued those deep inhales and exhales until my body seemed to sink onto the floor under me, steadying me in this time and place as the roaring in my ears faded away.
“That pit inside of you,” Thea continued, releasing my hand. “It feels never-ending. Like you could dig to the very depths of your magic and there would still be more there for you to grasp onto.”
