Page 113 of The Crown of the Dark Prince
“It’s not the same, and you know it!”
The sound of a throat clearing made us both jump. We turned to see Elaina standing in the doorway, with Camilla leaning heavily on her arm. The former greeted us with a soft smile.
“Camilla’s feeling a bit better,” Elaina explained. “We thought we might try to go for a walk.”
Clay and I stood in awkward silence, watching them make their careful exit. Only after they disappeared did Clay shift his focus back to me. We both took steadying breaths, the tension in the room crackling.
“I need you to understand why I’m upset,” Clay said sharply, breaking the silence. “I’m tired of being the one you trust the least. I’m tired of watching you take risks that you don’t let me share in.”
“I made a choice to keep it all a secret,” I admitted, forcing my voice to stay even. “That might not have been the ideal decision in your eyes, but if you love me, then you have to accept that I’m not always going to make decisions you like.”
He scoffed, shaking his head with a rueful smile. “You’ve made decisions I don’t like since the day I met you, Thea. That’s hardly the issue.”
“Then what is?”
“How am I supposed to protect you if you insist on keeping me in the dark while this kind of stuff is happening?”
So that’s what this was about. Clay’s incessant need to play the white knight—the morally irrefutable prince, always ready to swoop in and save everyone, even those who didn’t want saving. He couldn’t accept that he’d finally met someone who didn’t need his protection. Someone stronger than him.
“I didn’t ask for you to protect me,” I snapped, crossing my arms. “And I don’t need your protection. I am a Goddess, remember?”
“I’m very well aware of that.”
“Do you think I wanted this? Do you think I want to constantly have to control magic that can kill as easily as lifting a finger? Do you think I want my father to be the God of Death? I hate it, Clay.”
He rolled his eyes, leaning backwards against the kitchen counter. “No, you don’t. Since the day I met you, you’ve had no qualms reminding people you’re powerful enough to stand on your own.”
I wanted to scream, to lash out and shake him until he understood how frustrating it was to watch him pull away from me over something I had no control over.
“Why don’t you just admit it, Clay?” I challenged. “You’re not afraid of the secrets; you’re afraid of me. You’re afraid of what it means that I’m a Goddess.”
“You think I’m afraid of your power?” His voice broke, raw and unguarded. “If anyone is afraid of the significance of your powers, it’s you. I, on the other hand, have known you were extraordinary since the moment I met you. I’ve never doubted your strength—not for a second. What terrifies me, though, is that you still don’t trust me enough to let me stand beside you and because of that one day you’ll decide you don’t need me anymore and leave me behind.”
I opened my mouth to respond, but the lump in my throat silenced me. He wasn’t wrong—not entirely. But he wasn’t entirely right, either.
I stepped towards him, not daring physical touch, but close enough for him to be able to sense my sincerity.
“I never meant to make you feel like I don’t need you,” I whispered, each word trembling with the weight of my confession. “But it’s hard, Clay. It’s so hard to let someone into this chaos when I don’t even know where it’s going. Death and destruction have followed me since the second I was created. It’s not that I don’t want your protection, but maybe you need to be protected from me.”
“You don’t get to make that choice for me.” His tone was sharp, but his eyes softened as he stepped closer. We were sharing air now, just inches apart. “I love you because you’re built of fire and steel, because you challenge me in every way that matters. So if loving you is dangerous, it’s a riskI’ll happily take. But I can’t keep standing here watching you carry this weight alone while you push me away.”
“I don’t want to. But if I lose you—if something happens because of me—then how do I survive that?”
“You won’t lose me, Thea.”
His hands finally reached out to cup my face, and I leaned into him breathing in his scent. His touch was steady and grounding. Familiar.Right.
“We can’t do this if you don’t let me in—if you keep deciding for both of us what I can and can’t handle. I’m not asking you to trust me because it’s easy—I’m asking because I need you to believe in us enough to try.”
“I can’t do this without you,” I whispered, needing to say it again.
He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest as if he could shield me from every danger, every uncertainty.
“You’ll never have to,” he vowed, and then his lips were on mine.
Our kiss was desperate, a mingling of salty tears, desperate fears, and burning desire. Not just for each other’s bodies, but for each other's hearts.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him to me, needing to feel his warmth against me, wanting to be swallowed entirely by it. His hands roamed up my back, tugging tightly on the low-hanging strands of hair down my back, which sent pulses of need flying to my core.
