Page 177 of Shy Girls Can't Date Rockstars
Ryder uploads the essay to the school portal. “The spelling and grammar probably need work.”
“Doesn’t matter,” I say, standing up and pushing my chair in. “It’s done.”
Ryder is quick to stand and move to my side of the table. “Don’t go.” He latches onto my wrist. “Are we good?”
I look down at his hand on me. “Ryder, don’t.”
He lets go as if I’m made of something fragile.
“I heard your apology,” I say carefully. “But anyone can say sorry. Heck, I said it a bunch of times when I first got here, and all I got was grief for it.”
He steps closer, invading my personal space. “I don’t want you to be scared of getting close to me.”
I step back. “Tell yourself that. You literally told me you were scared of your feelings for me.”
“But I’m not taking them back.” He steps close to me again, and all I can see are the chains against his chest. “Ally, I’m so into you. It feels wrong to be apart from you.”
“All we’re going to be is apart. The more your career takes off, the more distance there will be.”
“Miranda will still be my manager. Aren’t you her new photographer? You’ll be with me wherever I go.”
“You forget something. I don’t hate school.”
He inhales sharply and cups the side of my face. “We can make it work.”
I frown and tilt my head away from his palm. “It’ll be too hard.”
“But you make me better.”
I step away from him, abandoning my materials for a faster getaway. “But I don’t know if you make me better.”
I’m through the hallway faster than I’ve ever moved. My heart is jackhammering against my ribs, and every gasp inflames my throat as I race up the stairs to the safety of my bedroom.
Thirty-One
Inmybedroom,Ipick up my phone before I can talk myself out of it. Jill’s name is still at the top of my contacts. I haven’t moved it or buried it under new numbers. It’s just been sitting there for weeks, waiting for me to be brave enough to press it.
It rings once.
“Hello?” Jill’s voice is careful, like she’s not sure who she’s going to get.
“Hi,” I say.
A beat. “Hi.” Still careful. Still waiting.
“I’m sorry,” I say, sitting on the edge of my bed. “I just… I need to say that first before I lose my nerve. I shut you out. After the accident, after moving, I just went quiet and I know that wasn’t fair. I’m sorry.”
Silence on the other end. Long enough that my stomach drops.
Jill exhales. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay, I accept your apology.” Her voice cracks slightly on the last word, and I hear her pull herself together. “I don’t have a lot of time to talk. Lunch is almost over.”
“Shoot. I forgot it was a school day.”
“You’re not at school?”
