Page 147 of Shy Girls Can't Date Rockstars
I break a pencil in half, stopping Jessa’s train of thought.
“Whoa.” Kimberley laughs. “Hulk strength over here.”
Jessa clears her throat. “All I’m saying, Alice, is we get why you’ve been such a basket-case since you got here.”
My hands are flat on the table. My knuckles have gone white.
“But,” Jessa continues, “following around a musician like a lost little puppy isn’t a healthy way to deal with grief.”
“Don’t,” I grunt.
“Don’t what?” Jessa asks.
“Don’t talk about my grief.” My voice quivers, and I hate it. “You don’t know anything about me or where I came from.”
“We’re not trying to be mean,” Jessa says, and she almost sounds like she means it. “We’re just saying, losing your parents would have to be hard.”
“Don’t!” I yell, pounding a fist against the paint-splattered desk. “Don’t you dare talk about them!”
The girls blink at me, and our non-committal teacher jolts in his seat.
“Girls?” he questions, not getting up. “Is everything okay over there?”
Kimberley nudges Jessa, and they move to a different table. My whole nervous system scatters, and I notice twitchy glances in my direction.
Let them stare.
Because apparently everyone knows, and there’s only one person who would’ve told them. One person who wanted to set everyone straight. One person who thought it’d be easier if everyone knew the truth about me and my family.
The one person I deliberately avoided at lunch.
After class, the hallway offers no relief. There’s no grief. No panic. Just white, burning rage.
I find him near the lockers at the end of the hallway, backpack slung over one shoulder, talking to Brooks about something I don’t care about. Brooks sees me first, and his smirk appears like a reflex.
Ryder turns.
“Hey,” he starts. “I haven’t seen you all day, and I wanted—“
“How dare you,” I cut him off, my words slicing through the air like a blade.
Brooks raises his eyebrows and takes a small step back.
Ryder’s face shifts to confusion. “What?”
“It was the one thing I asked you to do.” My voice is steady, which surprises me. The anger holds me upright like a spine I didn’t know I had. “When I came here, you gave me all these rules. Act like we don’t know each other. Don’t touch anything. Don’t even breathe too loudly. I followed every single one.”
“Alice, I…”
“I only asked one thing of you.” I step closer, and he doesn’t move back. “One thing to keep your mouth shut about, and you couldn’t even do that.”
“Slow down,” he says, his voice dropping. “Just take a breath and—“
“Don’t.” I hold up a hand. “Don’t do the breathing thing right now.”
“Alice, just tell me what happened. I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
“No, you tell me.” My voice cracks at the edges. “I want you to tell me why you did it. I told you exactly what would happen, and you did it anyway. I guess keeping your rep was easier than keeping my secret.”
