Page 114 of Shy Girls Can't Date Rockstars
“Different how?”
“Just... different.” I wrap my arms around myself. “I don’t really fit in there.”
“That makes sense. You’re the new person, and you’re dealing with a lot. It’s hard to jump into a social environment when you’re—“
“I’m tired a lot,” I cut in, redirecting. “Like, all the time. Even when I sleep.”
Dr. Novak nods, following my lead. “That’s very common with grief. Your body is processing a lot of trauma. It’s exhausting.”
“Yeah.”
“Have you had trouble sleeping? Nightmares? Panic attacks?”
The mention of panic attacks makes me pause. “I’ve had a couple. But I’m dealing with them.”
“Did Dr. Timms teach you any breathing techniques?”
“Yeah, I do the four-count breath.”
Dr. Novak brightens. “And it works for you?”
I slouch in my seat. “Sometimes.”
“Sometimes a distraction can be more helpful than breathing,” she suggests. “For instance, a grounding technique. You witness your surroundings and name things you can see, touch, and hear. Can you see that working for you?”
My mind drifts to being in the practice room yesterday with Ryder. Listening to him play the keyboard. Seeing the way his hair flopped to the side. Feeling his strong hand plant over mine.
“Mm-hmm,” I mutter, swallowing hard. “Maybe.”
Dr. Novak makes a note, tilting her head as she takes me in. “Are you thinking about anything right now, Alice?”
Oh my gosh. Have I gone red?
Please, chair, swallow me whole.
“I apologize, Alice. I thought I saw a change in your expression. Have I made you self-conscious?”
My hands curl into fists. What kind of question is that?
Dr. Novak leans in again. “Tell me, Alice, did you come to today’s session with anything on your mind?”
About a billion things.
“Anything you think you might want to discuss in therapy?” she continues.
Heck no! Is she crazy?
“It’s okay to talk,” Dr. Novak goes on. “Even to vent. You can whisper, you can yell. You can do anything that might make you feel the slightest bit better.”
I release my arms from around my middle. “That won’t help.”
She tilts her head. “What makes you say that?”
“What good is talking about things you can’t change?”
Dr. Novak taps her pen thoughtfully against her chin. “Yes, it’s a good point that we can’t change the past. It’s actually a very healthy and mature outlook. But despite not changing the past, we still have feelings about the events in our lives. The good and the bad. You don’t need to talk about the car accident, or what has happened since. If you want, you can talk about the life you lived before your parents’ passing.”
I wince at her. “Why?”
